Kim Kartrashian’s Second Husband Wants You To Know That He Didn’t Shit On Bruce Jenner In A Tweet

April 25, 2015 / Posted by:

In “faces you forgot existed” news, Kris Humphries, one of the Geico cavemen’s slower cousins whose marriage to Kim Kartrashian lasted about as long as a pussy sneeze, watched Bruce Jenner’s big coming out last night and had something to say about it.

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Many people pulled out their pitchforks and were ready to drag the Shrek version of Taylor Lautner, because they thought he was yanking at Bruce Jenner’s main. (Pro tip: If you want to destroy Kris Humphries. You don’t need to use a weapon. Just ask him to divide 4 into 12 and watch as his head slowly explodes.) But I didn’t take it as a Bruce dig. I took his tweet as a Kuntrashian dig.

After the Internet tore him a new one, he tried to clear shit up:

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I think the real story here is that this pube-brained douche used the word “hence in a tweet and didn’t use any emojis. I would be offended over something Kim Kartrashian’s second husband of five seconds said, but I’m too busy being offended and disgusted over my nearest Starbucks being all out of old-fashioned donuts this morning. Now that is some shit to start a petition for.

And here’s Kummy Kakes looking like an alien cult leader at Variety’s Power of Women luncheon in NYC yesterday.

Pics: Splash

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