Hot Slut Of The Day!
Sydney Channing (as played by Broadway star and Amanda Plummer’s mother Tammy Grimes) from Can’t Stop The Music!
Diane Sawyer gets extra points for repeatedly throwing several servings of shade at Krapping Up the Kartrashians by calling it “that show,” but she lost points for not telling ABC that her interview with Bruce Jenner should be 3 hours long, because she needed a full hour to discuss his greatest achievement: Can’t Stop The Music! I mean, who cares about the Wheaties box and those infomercials with Pimp Mama Kris? Interviewing Bruce Jenner and not asking him about Can’t Stop The Music is like interviewing the Dalai Lama and not asking him about the time he met Joanna Krupa. It’s the pinnacle moment of his career!
Can’t Stop The Music was a multiple-award winning (yes, the Razzies count as an award) glittery gay extravaganza from 1980 and Bruce Jenner made his movie debut in it. I need to watch it again on Netflix, because I barely remember what it’s about, but that’s okay. Who watches that beautiful wreck for the plot, anyway? You watch it for the man nipples, glitter and extravaganza! If you haven’t seen it and don’t have Netflix, just get really coked up and have two people splash your face with glitter and man sweat while blasting the Village People in your ears. That’s what watching it sort of feels like.
It has everything you need in a cinematic masterpiece: Bruce Jenner in a cut-off shirt, Valerie Perrine’s nipples, the gayest and greatest shower scene on Earth, a musical number about leche, Steve Guttenburg trying to dance, shitty acting, forty loads of glitter, more velour than a Boca Raton retiree’s closet and the Village People. It’s perfection. And one of my favorite parts of that sequin-covered train wreck (besides the peen slips, musical numbers, man nipples and glitter, of course) is Tammy Grimes as Sydney Channing.
Sydney Channing is Valerie Perrine’s snobby, high-and-mighty, overbearing modeling agent who apparently drinks cocktails out of what looks like a candleholder. Valerie Perrine’s character is a retired supermodel and Sydney gets one of her minions to try to lure her biggest moneymaker back to modeling. I bet Anna Wintour is pretty much bald, because every time she watches Can’t Stop The Music (which is all the time, probably), she yanks her wig off and pulls out whatever hairs she has left out of frustration over knowing that she’ll never be Sydney Channing!
If you haven’t done your daily ass kegels yet, watch the trailer for CSTM and get ready to pucker and clench: