Night Crumbs
Matthew McConaughey’s beard has taken a life of its own and it looks like it’s eating his face. The Texas T-Rex (who kind of looks like this wooden Jesus statue my abuelita kept on top of her TV) needs to quickly shave it off before it eats his eyes! He can give me his beard shavings afterward, because you know you’d get a new kind of stoned if you smoked that shit – Lainey Gossip
Dear Lassie dog in the background, tip that hillbilly chipmunk while you have the chance! Tip her! – Drunken Stepfather
Somebody really needs to start a charity for poor enslaved millionaire Shia LaDouche – Celebitchy
The plot for Kandi’s Ski Trip is very “The Shining” and Mama Joyce is the Jack Nicholson role, of course – Reality Tea
So Just Jack and his husband did this… – Towleroad
I don’t know what people are talking about. I think Selena Gomez has looked great ever since she lost that 110 pounds of douche she was carrying around – The Superficial
Olivia Wilde serving up some 60s Midwestern librarian chic – Popoholic
It’s Shirtless Friday again and this time there’s a special fluffy guest (No, I’m not talking about a pube bush. This time.) – The Berry
Miley Cyrus took her Justin Bieber hair for a hike – Hollywood Tuna
That hot bitch who was on Nashville and is on Game of Thrones now has an ass and this is what it looks like – OMG Blog
Tidal’s CEO took the next wave out of there – Jezebel
Today in “Sure, Jan,“ Josh Hartnett says he turned down Superman, Spider-Man and Batman – IDLYITW
In case you need to be reminded that Betty White’s still got it and has got it better than all of us – SOW
The doctors coming for Dr. Oz will be getting an ALL-CAPS, curse-filled text of rage from his number one fan, my mom, as soon as she figures out how to text the doctors coming for Dr. Oz – HuffPo
Are there Hobbits in Game of Thrones? – ICYDK
They say that Kylie Jenner is on the cover of Teen Vogue, but where? Because that’s not Kylie Jenner on the cover – Just Jared
Borat and Isla Fisher named their kid “Montgomery Moses,” which sounds like an old-timey phrase that people would say instead of “Jesus Christ.” I’ll put it in a sentence: “Montgomery Moses, Ethel, the cows ran off again!” – Popsugar
Pic: Getty