Would You Hit It?

April 16, 2015 / Posted by:

Maybe I should tell you what “it” is before you say you’ll hit it or not. But then again, you may be a desperate, parched, hard-up slut tramp around-the-way skank ho like me who has no standards and will hit “it” first and ask what “it” is later.

But anyway, this is Jared Leto fighting, punching, slapping, stabbing, shooting, blowing up, shanking, drowning and setting fire to his hotness to play the Joker in Suicide Squad. Jared put up this picture of him in halfway (I’m guessing) Joker drag on Snapchat today. I highly doubt that’s the Joker’s final look, but if it is, then Suicide Squad’s hair and makeup budget must be $3 and a couple of Sally’s Beauty Supply coupons. I’m not really getting the Joker from this. I’m mostly getting a cross between the dude from Prodigy after having food poisoning for two weeks and Klaus Nomi after a 4-day meth binge.

It was nice of Jared to take a picture at that angle, though. Because now you know what he looks like when he’s on top of you and going all 300 on your guts with his Praetorian Guard’s helmet dick. (Or what he looks like when he watches you sleep in the morning and bends down to suck the breath out of your mouth.) I just want to gently grab Jared Leto’s face with one hand and with the other hand I want to grab a Sharpie and paint some exquisite brows on his face so he doesn’t look like a Sphynx cat whose owner put a fluffy green beanie on his head for Christmas.

With that said, yes, yes I’d hit, but I’d definitely have to bring along a Sharpie to give him some brows.

And if seeing Jared like this hurts your loins, here’s a palate cleanser in the form of Tom Hardy working a suit at the UK premiere of Child 44. Just try not to focus on the field of pubes on his neck.

Pics: Wenn.comĀ 

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