In a development that’s a surprise to absolutely no one (except for maybe my mom who falls for everything and still asks me when the 9 to 5 sequel called 10 to 6 is coming out even though I already told her that was an April Fool’s post), that video of Dennis Quaid going full asshole cunt on the set of something has turned out to be a STUNT QUEEN hoax. There’s a plot twist, though. The video did not come from the pranking mind of Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel said on his show last night that he had nothing to do with the Quaid quake video. Normally Jimmy’s words hold about as much weight as Lindsay Lohan saying, “I’m really going to try not to fuck up this time. I promise,” but he was telling the truth this one time. Funny or Die claimed this shit.
Dennis Quaid’s choreographed meltdown video was basically a trailer for a Funny or Die sketch about the making of a trailer for a Funny or Die sketch. META! In the skit, Dennis yells at actual horseshit, a dude in a true-to-life sized Hammaconda costume, a bunch of pussies with a staring problem and a real baby. I’d appreciate this video a lot more if Dennis Quaid was topless, because you know his nips swell like a hot clit when he screams.
And now that we know that, when are we going to find out that Randy Quaid’s sex tape was a viral marketing ad for vomiting medication?