Nelly Got Busted With The Good Shit AND The Bad Shit In Tennessee

April 12, 2015 / Posted by:

We may finally know the answer to the question,”Why in the fuck is Nelly always hot in herre?” The answer may be: Because ho is tweaking on crystal.

The Chattanooga Times Free Press says that Nelly (born name: Cornell Haynes) was arrested early yesterday morning and charged with felony drug possession and possession of weed. Dude is in a dilemma, you could say. At 9:20 yesterday morning, a trooper pulled over Nelly’s tour bus because it didn’t have the right stickers on it. When a cloud of the good shit wafted up into the trooper’s nostrils, he decided to do a probable cause search on the bus. After snooping around, the troopers found weed, drug paraphernalia and a plastic bag with 5 crystal-type rocks in it. The rocks tested positive for meth. The cops also found several handguns and 100 small Ziploc bags, which the police say are commonly used to sell drugs. One of the other dudes on the bus, Brian Jones, was also arrested for handgun possession.

Nelly was taken to the Putnam County Jail where he was later released on $10,000 bond. Nelly will have to show his face in court in June. Nelly’s lawyer tells TMZ that he’s going to fight the charges, because the meth wasn’t his. Nelly claims that over a dozen people had access to the bus and the meth could belong to any one of them.

Part of me believes that the meth isn’t Nelly’s, because I’d think that he would be a smart meth head who knows that when the cops stop his bus he needs to flush the bad shit down the toilet or shove it up his b-hole or hide it in a place that nobody would dare to go, like under a pile of his last CD. But the other part of me thinks that the meth may be Nelly’s, because it would explain those Band-Aids on his face (meth scratched face is no joke) and his teeth. It would also really explain why he whored himself out for Honey Nut Cheerios.

You  know, I bet that meth belonged to the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee. That bee always looks tweaked the fuck out.

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