Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 10, 2015 / Posted by:

Pazazz, the line of styling products from Clairol in the 80s (DUH) that had just a touch of metallic glamour in them!

And a “touch” of glamour in the 80s was equal to about 500,000 gallons of glamour today, because glamour was 100 proof back then. Back in the mid 80s, Clairol knew that what the people really wanted was to look like gold sneezed in their hair or like Robin Leach wet farted on their head. (Yes, Robin Leach farts up flecks of copper. He is that opulent.) So they created a styling mousse and gel that contained “tiny reflective color crystals.” “Tiny reflective color crystals” was fancy 80s marketing talk for “chemical particles that may seep through your skull and cause cancer.”  Actually, I think it was fancy 80s marketing talk for “glitter, it’s fucking glitter from Leewards.”

Whatever “tiny reflective color crystals” were, they turned your hair into a teased nest of hotness that was set on fire by the Gods. When you smeared Pazazz into your hair and walked into a room, bitches had to put on welding masks to protect their faces from the dazzling sparks of glamour shooting off of your head. You know a product was pure hotness when Shari Headley (the model in the hot yellow blazer) from All My Children and Coming To America was in its ads.

Clairol eventually had to recall Pazazz after dozens of people suffered burns to the face from the flames jumping off of the wearer’s hair.

The commercial was 1000% 80s. Caution: If you watch it, you will overdose on 80s opulence, which will cause you to gag and barf up a shiny pile of tiny reflective color crystals.

Pic: Pinterest

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