We get it, Jessica and her husband. You are the pandas of humans.
Expect Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith to get naked and 69 on a red carpet at a premiere, because their title as Hollywood’s biggest oversharing couple has been threatened! Jessica Simpson and her husband Eric Somethingoranother are giving them some serious competition in the “Famous Hos Who Constantly Want To Let Us Know That They Are Horny For Each Other And Want To Surgically Attach Their Parts Together So They Can Always Be Fucking Since They Are That Horny For Each Other” Club.
A couple of months ago, Jessica and Eric wet queefed up a Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired photo shoot on Instagram. The pictures were about as sexy as a turnip chip and about as awkward as holding in a fart while you’re getting your salad tossed. So in other words, they really captured the true essence of Fifty Shades. And now, they’re back! Jessica Instagrammed this picture of her and Eric kissing on each other while their kids are off camera screaming, “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM, MY EYEEEEEES!”
I can’t fully hate. Thanks to her billion dollar brand, Jessica Simpson has millions coming in without doing much. So she gets to spend most of her free time getting drunk until words are hard to make and posing with her piece in desperate Instagram pictures. She is living the life!
And once again, who is taking these pictures? These thirsty messes probably have an in-house photographer. I was going to say that their in-house photographer is probably Ashlee Simpson since she needs a job, but I forgot that she’s married to a Ross now.