Where Is A Strict Catholic Abuelita With A Chancleta When You Really Need One?

April 6, 2015 / Posted by:

People attending Easter Sunday service at West Hills Church in the San Fernando Valley were forced to watch the Fame Whorey of Easter pageant when the Dark Mistress of the Ninth Circle Pimp Mama Kris and her pack of moneymakers strolled on through while looking like the blind members of a cult who were dressed by hos who hate them.

When PMK let the paparazzi know the exact time that they’d be doing the ho stroll to church, the paps should’ve made sure that they had a mob of strict Catholic abuelitas waiting for them. Because those abuelitas would’ve had the time of their lives slapping down those Godless heathens with chanclas for bringing exposed belly button, teenage kamel toe and pure trashiness to church! Kanye West may have thought that his holey t-shirt is appropriate for that holy occasion, but Jesus does not like puns.

While Bruce Jenner, Rob Kartrashian and Scott Disick were at home breathing out several sighs of relief over not being a part of this ridiculous unholy Easter stunt, PMK, her boy toy, the KKKs, the Jenner girls, Tyga, Kanye West and a bunch of kids did a little staged photo-op in the parking lot of West Hills Church (not to be confused with that fake church PMK supposedly uses to dodge taxes). The truth is, I don’t know why anyone is clutching their rosaries over their outfits. First of all, it’s the Kartrashians. Do you expect anything less? Second of all, it’s just church! It’s not a sacred place like In-N-Out where you should always show up in your finest outfit. Third of all, I doubt they even stayed for the service.

After they did their photo-op, they got to the front door of the church and PMK jumped into the arms of her fabulous pucker-inducing boy toy. PMK will burst into flames if her hooves touch the floor of a holy place, so her boy toy carried her through the church to the backdoor. Once they left the church through the backdoor, they walked to a dumpster where a hidden elevator took them down to the basement. While in the basement, PMK did her annual virgin sacrifice to her maker Lucifer as everybody else took selfies. After the sacrifice, they took the elevator back up and left the church through the front door as though they attended Easter Sunday service.

And North West’s look of shame says everything that needs to be said.

Pics: Wenn.com

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