Hot Slut Of The Day!

Baron, the German Shepherd who is smarter than most humans, because he knows how to load a dishwasher.

Whenever I do some kind of household chore, I always glance at my chihuahua and see him lounging on his dog bed like he’s Marie fucking Antoinette while throwing me eyes that say, “You missed a spot, whore.” I’d get his lazy, lady of leisure ass to help out around here by taping little Swiffer pads under his paws so he can pick up dust while he walks, but the problem with that is that he doesn’t walk. If I put a Fitbit on him, that Fitbit would shut down from boredom after about an hour, because it would have zero steps to track. If only scientists could find a way to turn chihuahua snoring into sustainable energy.

But anyway, I watched this video at Buzzfeed yesterday and thought to myself that I really need to get me a German Shepherd, because they know how to earn their Snausages. Linda Gonzales, the owner of a pet training place in Oceanside, CA, tells HuffPo that teaching her service dog Baron how to help load the dishwasher wasn’t that hard since he’s smart in the brains. Unlike most humans, Baron doesn’t bitch and moan while doing it. Baron was only 6 months old at the time this video was filmed, so by now he’s probably scrubbing out baked-on bacon grease from pans with a Chore Boy. (Side note: Hmm… I think I just found a job for my dog. The next I need to clean a pan with baked-on bacon grease on it, I’ll just put it in front of my dog’s mouth. He’ll clean it before I finish blinking my eyes.)

Okay, yes, Baron’s technique gets a C- since he put those bowls in wrong, but still! This is your cue to Google “Where do I go to trade in my kids and piece for a German Shepherd?“