Amber Rose Really, Really Wants To Get Back Together With Wiz Khalifa

April 3, 2015 / Posted by:

Despite the fact that practically every day since Amber Rose called it quits on her husband of one year Wiz Khalifa has been a dramatic social media shouting match MESS, it looks like Amber Rose still dreams of being Mrs. Cheez Whiz. I know, cue up all your Michael Bluth “Him?“s. Yesterday, Amber professed her undying love to Wiz on Instagram (of course) by posting a picture of the two of them tongue humping each other with the following admission that she’s clearly next-level dickmatized:

“My #ManCrushEveryday you know what it is…. We went wrong somewhere and even if we never ever get back together (Even tho I pray, dream and hope we do) he will forever be the love of my life. The media doesn’t make it easy but fuck them we gotta live for reality and not society. We forever have a bond because we made a beautiful baby from our Love. Through all the ups and downs of our relationship my heart still beats for him every single day. I’m sick of putting on a front like I’m happy without him. I’m not. He makes me happy. He’s the only one who can. Regardless of how our lives Turn out in the long run he will always be the skinny tatted up stoner that has my heart.”

Oh brother. If only Amber had a Loretta Castorini in her life to grab her by the shoulders and tell her to snap out of it. Then again, I doubt it would do any good; she’d just spin around, pop her giant booty and go “Okay, now slap this one! Wait – lemme grab the video camera.

I get that Amber’s coochie is lonesome for Wiz’s skinny tattoo needle dick, but that’s because it doesn’t know any better. According to a fact I just made up, crotch parts aren’t very smart, so even if your brain is like “Kick that scrub to the curb and delete their number!“, your crotch parts will be like “Aw, but remember the time they humped you so hard you went cross-eyed for 2 hours? That was nice, right?

Here’s Amber taking a break from sitting at her window and singing “Somewhere Out There” like a horny Fievel at some skate shop opening a few days ago with Nick Cannon:

Pics: Splash

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