Night Crumbs

April 2, 2015 / Posted by:

“So THIS is the real reason why for I rose from the dead a billion years ago,” said Jesus while watching the pride of Germany Micaela Schaefer pose in a topless Easter-themed fame whore photo shoot with bunnies – Hollywood Tuna

Future Oscar-winner Vin Diesel had his hand and foot prints immortalized at Graum’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood and that’s great and everything, but when are they going to bring that ceremony into the NOW by making the dudes do peen prints too – Lainey Gossip

Kim Kartrashian is such a wonderful, caring and sympathetic sister who is not at all dead inside and void of human empathy – Celebitchy

I don’t know what this says about me, but while watching RiRi prank Jimmy Kimmel, I kept looking for morning wood – Drunken Stepfather

Will somebody please start a Kickstarter page for Christina Milian, because ho is so down and out that she can’t afford a t-shirt – Egotastic! 

The streets of New Jersey are safer now that Juicy Joe’s license has been snatched away – Reality Tea 

Earlier I said that the easiest way to make a shit load of money without doing much of anything is to be Kunty Karl’s pussy. I take that back. The easiest way to get cash without doing much of anything is to open up a pizza place in Indiana, tell the local news that you refuse to cater a gay wedding, watch the death threats come in, close up shop, start a GoFundMe page and begin spending the money morons send you – Towleroad

Well, Katy Perry is used to getting calls from strangers, because I’m sure John Mayer wrote her number on the wall of every men’s bar bathroom in L.A. after they broke up – IDLYITW

The starfish on Jordana Brewster’s crotch is an elegant touch – Popoholic

Deadpool is going to get an R-rating. Okay, but does that mean Ryan Reynolds is going to show his dick in it or no? – The Superficial 

Jessica Simpson’s brand brought in $1 billion last year and I’d tell her to celebrate by getting plastered but she probably already is – Jezebel

For the thirsty hos who have it for Nick Jonas: Here’s a quarter of his nalgas – OMG Blog

Expect thousands of Cumberbitches to go to their doctor with major yeast infection problems, because you know they’re all going to fuck this chocolate statue repeatedly – SOW

This might be John Legend’s greatest gig ever. He can retire now. – The Berry 

The moment a Price Is Right model starts crying because her ass knows she screwed up and will have to go back modeling for the JcPenney catalog – Popsugar

Giuliana Rancic says that her and her husband’s surrogate miscarried their last embryo – ICYDK

House of Cards will be back next year – HuffPo

Here’s the trailer for the Amy Winehouse documentary and it’s missing a scene where she screams “BLAAAAAAKE” out the window – Pajiba


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