Night Crumbs
Thanks to Katy Perry’s (probably) April Fools’ Day wig, I’ll never ever be able to scrub the dark-sided and heave-inducing image of Pimp Mama Kris shooting whipped cream out of her tits – Lainey Gossip
Megan Fox serving up mouth breathing mannequin stiffness in Harper’s Bazaar Arabia – Drunken Stepfather
FYI: When Bradley Cooper goes beard browsing at the clubs, he wears earplugs – Celebitchy
The Oscars really don’t have shit on the bright shiny A-list extravaganza that AOL hosted in Times Square – Reality Tea
If Aubrey O’Day was going for” Transylvania real doll call girl on downers,” she pretty much nailed it – Egotastic!
Dear Crystal O’Connor (Side note: I hate that her name makes me think of the supreme goddess from Showgirls), I’m trashy enough to get pizza for my wedding, but I’m just a little classy enough to get it from California Pizza Kitchen – Towleroad
When are we going to find out that Rita Wilson cheated on Tom Hanks with Vanilla Ice in the 90s and gave birth to Chet Haze? – The Superficial
So from now on, you can think of FourFiveSeconds as a Wilson Phillips song featuring RiRi, Kanye and that guy from the Beatles – Jezebel
Um, I think Kylie Jenner got some of Khlozilla’s cooch fur stuck on her purse – Hollywood Tuna
Dave Chappelle’s stalker obviously doesn’t know comedy, because you’re not supposed to throw the banana peel. You’re supposed to slip on it – WWTDD
LEAVE TARA REID ALOOOOOOOOOOOONE – SOW
Hilary Duff still has pool hair – Popoholic
Behold, cum gutters galore – The Berry
Patton Oswalt took a break from hating on ginger earth angel Phoebe Price (no, I will NEVER forget) to defend Trevor Noah in a tweet rant – Just Jared
Joni Mitchell is still in ICU, but is awake and happy-ish – Popsugar
Suicide Squad added more cast members – Pajiba
“DAAAAAAAAAAD!!!” – Brooklyn Beckham to his dad – ICYDK
It’s like gay Christmas! Faye Dunaway is writing a tell-all about the making of Mommie Dearest – Queerty
Pic: Instagram