Archives: April 2015

Bruce Jenner Comes Out As Transgender

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

After months of rumors and tricks (this trick including) thinking that Bruce Jenner’s interview with Diane Sawyer might be a big STUNT QUEEN stunt to promote whatever Pimp Mama Kris wants promoted, Bruce bravely came out as transgender and said the words, “I am a woman.” I live in the past that is the West Coast, so the interview isn’t airing right now, but thank the fuck for whoever invented the Internet, high-speed, computers, etc., because now I don’t have to wait a million years to watch Bruce pull out his pony, shake his mane and give us “I am woman, hear me roar.”

Bruce told Diane that this is the last interview he will do as “Bruce” and he’s ready to fully live his life as a woman. (Note: ABC News says that at the time of his interview with Diane, Bruce said that he still wanted to be addressed as a “he” and “him,” so that’s why I’m doing it.)

“I would say I’ve always been very confused with my gender identity since I was this big. I tried to explain it, because I’ve had all my kids sitting in that chair … and I’ve tried to explain it this way. God’s looking down, making little Bruce … he says ‘Okay, what are gonna do with this one. Make him a smart kid, very determined … and then when he’s just finishing he says, ‘Let’s wait a second.’ God looks down and chuckles a little bit and says, ‘Hey, let’s give him the soul of a female.’

“Bruce lives a lie. She is not a lie,” Jenner said. “I can’t do it anymore.”

Bruce cackled when Diane told him that some people think the interview was a stunt to promote a reality show. Bruce told her that he wouldn’t go through everything he’s going through to promote a reality show. (Somewhere, PMK watched that and yelled at that screen, “That is the most hurtful thing you’ve ever said, Bruce!” ) Bruce said that the first person he told was his first wife Christy. When Diane asked if he’s gay, Bruce once again laughed and said that he’s strictly clitly. He’s never been with a dude and is still into women.

As for PMK, Bruce says that he was taking hormones 5 years before he got with her and he had 36C chichis at the time. She knew he was taking hormones and knew about his cross-dressing. Bruce didn’t say any bad shit about PMK and said that he “loved” her. ABC asked all three of Bruce’s ex-wives for a comment and the only one who didn’t give one was PMK. She had no comment. In PMK’s defense, it’s kind of impossible to comment as she’s screaming into a pillow because Bruce is getting all the attention.

UPDATE: After Perez Hilton called her out for not saying shit on Twitter, PMK tweeted this.

Screen-Shot-2015-04-24-at-7.39.51-PM

Does she kiss Lucifer’s ass lips with that mouth?! ABC claims that they e-mailed her PR team several times and was finally told that she had no comment. And you know the Bruce she’s sitting with isn’t Bruce Jenner. It’s some dude named Bruce she picked up at a bar and plans to suck the life out of later.

SHARE

Night Crumbs

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

The trailer for Black Mass is out and it’s nice to see that Johnny Depp gave his old Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas glasses another job – Lainey Gossip

Spider-Man may have cheated on Gwen Stacy by doing the upside down kiss with another trick in Taiwan – Celebitchy

Why aren’t these pictures of Bai Ling in the Louvre?! – Drunken Stepfather

“Just what I’ve been wishing for! An advice book by Khlozilla,” said absolutely not one person – Reality Tea 

Three more women have accused Bill Cosby of drugging and raping them and that brings the grand total to EVERYONE – The Superficial 

Why, hello there, vibrating Thighmaster – Jezebel

There’s that Chris Pratt, melting ovaries again – Towleroad

What in the hell kind of GD Ice Capades costume is  Joanna Krupa wearing?! – Hollywood Tuna

BREAKING: A millionaire pop star smokes weed – IDLYITW

MEXICAN FOOTBALLER SALCHICHA ALERT! (NSFW) – OMG Blog

Speaking of Panty Creamers… – The Berry 

Robert Downey Jr. throws a little visual shade at the journalist whose interview he quit – HuffPo

Cameron Diaz throws a beautiful air kiss of love at the paparazzi – Celebslam

I see that Hilary Duff is paying homage to all the She-Ra characters with her ever-changing hair color – Popoholic

Evan Ross knows Coachella is over, right? – Popsugar

There’s no reason to go to Abercrombie & Fitch anymore – Just Jared

Miley Cyrus is giving everyone chipmunk mono – ICYDK

ICK. NAST. – SOW

Tags:
SHARE

It’s Hard Out There For A Club Bouncer Who Has To Buy Coke For Celebs

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Page Six says that a dude named Leonard Taylor, who worked as a bodyguard for Marky Mark and Uma Thurman, has thrown a $1 million lawsuit at a club owner for causing him emotional distress by making him buy the bad shit for famous types. Wait, let’s go back to Marky Mark. Marky “I Could’ve Stopped 9/11” Mark needs a bodyguard? Marky Mark can take out an entire army just by flexing. He probably needs a bodyguard to hold his Starbucks. That’s all.

Page Six reports that in the lawsuit that was filed in the New York Supreme Court, Leonard says that from 2006 to 2010 he worked for Barry Mullineaux, owner of several NYC clubs where famous types go. Leonard, who filed the lawsuit without a lawyer, claims that Barry made him do shady illegal shit like buy drugs for celeb whores, and he named names. You better stick a wine cork up your asshole, because reading about rich famous celebrities doing drugs is going to make you fall out of yourself.

“Mr. Mullineaux would get the money from the cash register. I would have to buy drugs for such celebrities as Barron Hilton, John Mayer, Chris Evans, Ms. [sic] America Tara Conner.”

It really is Captain America’s week! Leonard goes on to say that Barry also paid him in bunk money and smeared his good name by telling other clubs and celebrities that he’s a criminal druggie.

Mullineaux “has scammed financial backers out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.” And that he has a tape of “Barry paying [him] in fake money.”

Taylor, now unemployed, claims that “Barry was in debt to the mob through gambling debts and Barry had these clubs robbed to pay off debt.”

He also claims in his suit that it was Mullineaux’s “constant defamation of character that played a part of Mr. Taylor losing work … He has told celebrity friends, other club owners, security companies not to hire Mr. Taylor because of drug use and other criminal behavior.”

This Mullineaux dude tells Page Six that Leonard’s lawsuit is nothing but a paper covered in skid marks and lies, because none of it is true. He also says that Leonard has been stalking him and threatening him for money. John Mayer’s spokeswhore called the lawsuit a lie too. Leonardo once sued Marky Mark for $2 million, but the lawsuit was later dropped.

Leonardo pretty much lost me at “HAVE to buy drugs,” but I do believe that he suffered from severe emotional distress. I mean, being around a sober Barron Hilton would make anyone want a fist a garbage disposal, so I can only imagine the kind of pain you’d suffer through while being around a coked up Barron Hilton.

And the biggest crime here is that Leonardo called Tara Conner and Barron Hilton “celebrities.”

The Dr. Oz Show Isn’t A Medical Show, Okay?

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Dr. Oz has been doing the damage control shuffle hard this week after a group of doctors sent a letter to Columbia University, calling for him to be dropped from the faculty, because he’s full of banana-shaped shits and would gladly tell his disciples that Coke is a miracle weight-loss elixir if Coca-Cola gave him a big enough check. The group basically said that he’s the Wizard of Oz with a medical license. They slammed his ass for shitting on GMOs, turning his nose up at “evidence-based medicine” and promoting “quick treatments” for money. Well, Dr. Oz has greased up his face with Crisco (Vaseline lost the bidding war to be his fightin’ lube of choice) and stuck Gillette razors (yup, they won the bidding war against Schick) in his hair, because he’s fighting back.

»

SHARE

Open Post: Hosted By Brit Brit’s Cover Of “Tom’s Diner”

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Italian disco legend Giorgio Moroder (you haven’t lived until you’ve sung “Together In Electric Dreams” at karaoke) is back with Déjà Vu, his first album in 30 years, and he got a bunch of pop types (see: Kylie Minogue, Kelis, Sia and Charli XCX) to sing on it. One of those pop types is also Our Lady of Cheetos who used her ethereal hummingbird vocal cords to sing out a cover of Suzanne Vega’sTom Diner’s.” Somebody should have told Brit Brit to da-da DA-da da-don’t. No, Giorgio Moroder and Brit Brit’s cover of “Tom’s Diner” sounds exactly the way you’d expect it to sound. It’s very Daft Punkney. If you asked Siri to recite all the lyrics to “Tom’s Diner,” she’d sound more human than Brit Brit does.

Giorgio said that Brit Brit’s people actually came to him about being on the album. He and Brit Brit never spent time in the studio together, because they were always in different places. So she sang the track without him and then he sprinkled his magic on it afterward. It was probably a good thing that he wasn’t ever in the studio with her, because his last nerve would’ve split from her always stopping to ask questions. After singing, “And instead I pour the milk,” she’d stop and ask, “Why am I pouring the milk? Why ain’t I ordering flapjacks?” Then after singing, “Turning to the horoscope and looking for the funnies,” she stop and ask, “I like funnies, but I like cinnanun rolls better. Why am I not ordering cinnanun rolls?” She does have a point. That’s what has always bothered me about that song. Bitch is in that diner for that long and she never orders pancakes or food!

And here’s Brit Brit sounding like Rosie the Robot on Ambien and helium while singing “Tom’s Diner.”

via Paper

Tags:
SHARE

Blac Chyna Wants You To Know That Tyga’s Trying To Get On Her Fake Ass Again

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Eyelash mogul/model/video ho/plastic surgery wonder Blac Chyna dragged 17-year-old Kylie Jenner by the chalupa lips the other day when she Instagrammed a picture of her wearing rubber lips the size of a rhino’s butt labia. Blac Chyna wasn’t done having a little Instagram fun and last night she threw up text messages that the father of her son King Cairo allegedly sent her. Blac Chyna wants everyone to know that while Tyga is waiting for his little girlfriend to finish having fun at a McDonald’s Playplace, he’s begging her to spend time with him and be one big happy, messy family. Blac Chyna exposed Tyga (or “Kings Father” as she calls his ass) with these screen shots:

blacchynatygatexts2015

Tyga didn’t call Blac Chyna out by name, but responded by tweeting: “Give it up.Get over it. Live Your Life. I ain’t here for the tea. Focus on what’s real in life. And surround yourself with people that you really care about.its simple.

Really, fighting over Tyga? Does his dick cum Juvéderm or something? Just like when my dad would tell me that he’s going to visit me over the weekend, I’ve been throwing a suspicious squint at this silicone love triangle since the beginning. You can’t trust anything a Kardashian (even a Kardashian-adjacent like Kylie Jenner) does. I bet they’re all in on it together and Pimp Mama Kris has been pulling all of their strings. PMK probably wrote, produced and directed this stunt. And tonight, she’ll try to yank all the attention away from Bruce Jenner’s big interview with Diane Sawyer by live streaming a three-way wedding between Blac Chyna, Tyga and Wite Chyna (aka Kylie) in Las Vegas. I’m on to all of them!

And here’s Kylie, PMK (brace yourself for the sight of PMK in hooker boots), Khlozilla and those other ones leaving some restaurant last night.

Pics: Splash

Calling Taylor Swift A Boy-Crazy Serial Dater Makes Taylor Swift Sad

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

If that cover line is true and Taylor Swift really was the guest editor, then I need to know what that sex move they “literally cannot get over” is. I bet it’s sex without a post-coital strawberry ice cream sundae. “Oh my gosh-ness, can you even imagine? That’s almost as raunchy as s-e-x with the lights on!” giggles Tay Tay, before apologizing for using such lewd language.

Crown Princess Butterscotch of The People’s Democratic Republic of Sunshine started whining during a recent interview with Glamour UK that even though she’s in a good place and has tons of friends and friendship friendship bla bla bla, she’s still haunted by her past reputation that she’s a boy-crazy stage-5 clinger who gets wet at the mere thought of his n’ hers embroidered towels. A reputation she thinks was invented by the media who is just, like, sooooo obsessed with her. Gawd, the media, stop being such a jealous hater!

»

What Did An Avenger Say That Pissed People Off Today?

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Seen above happily releasing a fart into the face of a 2-starred candy striper who knows what’s coming and doesn’t like (Side note: I know, I showed my nerd ignorance by not knowing who she’s dressed as. Or maybe I’m right and 2-Starred Candy Striper Girl is an actual superhero.), Robert Downey  Jr. is the latest Avenger to spit out some outrage fuel into the gas tank of the Internet.

On the same day that RDJ hit the nope switch and quit an interview after he was asked questions about politics and his drug days, The Guardian asked him for his thoughts on what Birdman director Alejandro González Iñárritu said about big-budget superhero movies full of explosions and more explosions. Alejandro said that big-budget superhero movieshave been poison, this cultural genocide, because the audience is so overexposed to plot and explosions and shit that doesn’t mean nothing about the experience of being human.” RDJ didn’t side-eye Alejandro for using the phrase “cultural genocide” to describe stupid superhero movies, but he did condescendingly slow clap over Alejandro, whose first language is Spanish, being able come up with such big English words on his own.

“Look, I respect the heck out of him, and I think for a man whose native tongue is Spanish to be able to put together a phrase like ‘cultural genocide’ just speaks to how bright he is.”

If you need to see those words come out of RDJ’s smug slit, skip to the 0:27 mark below:

This may blow RDJ’s mind, but English is my first language (“Could’ve fooled me, you illiterate bitch!” – you) and I can say “cultural genocide” in Spanish, French and Italian since it’s not that goddamn different.

Or maybe RDJ is side-eying Alejandro, who is Mexican, for casually using the phrase “cultural genocide” when Spanish explorers committed actual genocide hundreds of years ago. I don’t know! But I do know that these Avenger bitches are going all out during this press tour. Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans pissed people off by jokingly calling Black Widow a slut and a whore. During a taping of Graham Norton (which airs this weekend), Elizabeth Olsen apparently compared her character to a “gypsyand when Graham told her that word is a slur, Mark Ruffalo started chanting “gypsy” over and over again to get it out of his system. And now this. It’s as if right before the press tour started, the head of publicity said to their staff, “This movie is going to shit money into our mouths no matter what we do, so let’s just let those messes go out on their own and say whatever they want. Let’s commit liver genocide by boozing it up in the Caribbean, you slut whores!

Here’s RDJ, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner and Mark Ruffalo on Good Morning America today.

Pics: Splash

Patrick Dempsey Is Still Surprised About What Happened On Grey’s Anatomy Last Night

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

SPOILER ALERT if you haven’t seen this shit and plan on it. Speaking of, for those of you looking at this picture of McDreamy at the wheel and thinking “Wait, is this a spoiler?“, no! Of course not! He’s just swinging through the drive-thru at McDonalds for a 6-pack of nuggets and an extra large sweet tea.

Earlier in the week, a rumor started going around that Shonda Rhimes was planning a one-way trip for Patrick Dempsey on the Unemployment Express because he was acting like an entitled diva on the set of Grey’s Anatomy. Patrick’s character was half written out of the show by sending his ass to Washington D.C., but Washington was apparently not far enough for Shonda Rhimes, so Shonda gave Dr. Derek Shepherd the Poochie treatment by making him get into a car accident and killing his ass off the show. When someone is dead to Shonda Rhimes they are truly fucking dead to Shonda Rhimes.

»

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >