Night Crumbs
If you took a Janice the Muppet doll, filled it up with helium until it almost popped, dipped it in orange wax and glued a marzipan peen where it’s nose is supposed to be, it would kind of look like Big Ang as a blond – Reality Tea
Suri Cruise brought her Chanel purse to the Kids’ Choice Awards, because it was a casual event full of filthy peasants, so she left her custom-made canary-diamond encrusted clutch at home – Lainey Gossip
Bikinis: Jessica Alba and Chrissy Teigen are in them – Egotastic!
And soon after releasing that statement, Cookie Lyon brought the broom out and went abuelita on her son’s ass for lying about getting racially profiled by the cops in Glendale – Celebitchy
The Spectre teaser trailer is here and I can’t with whoever was in charge of putting that shit together, because they should’ve known that the world is a shitty place and what we really need is some shots of a topless Daniel Craig – Towleroad
Brett Ratner was caught making out with some other chick who isn’t Mimi and if he’s really doing Mimi then now we know there are two humans on earth who want to touch tongues with Brett Ratner – WWTDD
Yolanda Foster’s other daughter who isn’t named Gigi Hadid got a job doing modeling stuff in a magazine too – Drunken Stepfather
JLo giving you “the Hamburglar smuggling two dozen cheeseburgers in the back of his pants” glamour – Popoholic
Don’t wear these around Mama June or she’ll bite your tit and crotch off – OMG Blog
“What would Shane from The L Word wear?” is what Kristen Stewart and her partner in pussy say every day before picking their outfits – Popsugar
“See, Bill Cosby gets it!” said every pedophile Catholic priest – The Superficial
Iggy Azalea looked like a late 90s hair salon assistant manager at the iHeartRadio Awards – IDLYITW
FYI: Here’s Zendaya’s “when you’ve got to work extra hard to squeeze that fart out” face – Hollywood Tuna
Deadline’s non-sorry for that THINK OF THE WHITE ACTORS shit they wrote is worse than the damn article – Jezebel
Justin Timberlake remembered Jessica Biel’s first name when thanking her at the iHeartRadio Awards. You know it took him a minute – HuffPo
Scott Disick just took a little booze-filled vacation from rehab, okay? – ICYDK
Gross Harvey Weinstein accused of being illegally gross (read: groping a woman) – Just Jared
Pic: Facebook