Night Crumbs

March 30, 2015 / Posted by:

If you took a Janice the Muppet doll, filled it up with helium until it almost popped, dipped it in orange wax and glued a marzipan peen where it’s nose is supposed to be, it would kind of look like Big Ang as a blond – Reality Tea

Suri Cruise brought her Chanel purse to the Kids’ Choice Awards, because it was a casual event full of filthy peasants, so she left her custom-made canary-diamond encrusted clutch at home – Lainey Gossip

Bikinis: Jessica Alba and Chrissy Teigen are in them – Egotastic!

And soon after releasing that statement, Cookie Lyon brought the broom out and went abuelita on her son’s ass for lying about getting racially profiled by the cops in Glendale – Celebitchy

The Spectre teaser trailer is here and I can’t with whoever was in charge of putting that shit together, because they should’ve known that the world is a shitty place and what we really need is some shots of a topless Daniel CraigTowleroad

Brett Ratner was caught making out with some other chick who isn’t Mimi and if he’s really doing Mimi then now we know there are two humans on earth who want to touch tongues with Brett Ratner – WWTDD

Yolanda Foster’s other daughter who isn’t named Gigi Hadid got a job doing modeling stuff in a magazine too – Drunken Stepfather

JLo giving you “the Hamburglar smuggling two dozen cheeseburgers in the back of his pants” glamour – Popoholic

Don’t wear these around Mama June or she’ll bite your tit and crotch off – OMG Blog

What would Shane from The L Word wear?” is what Kristen Stewart and her partner in pussy say every day before picking their outfits – Popsugar

“See, Bill Cosby gets it!” said every pedophile Catholic priest – The Superficial

Iggy Azalea looked like a late 90s hair salon assistant manager at the iHeartRadio Awards – IDLYITW

FYI: Here’s Zendaya’s “when you’ve got to work extra hard to squeeze that fart out” face – Hollywood Tuna

Deadline’s non-sorry for that THINK OF THE WHITE ACTORS shit they wrote is worse than the damn article – Jezebel

Justin Timberlake remembered Jessica Biel’s first name when thanking her at the iHeartRadio Awards. You know it took him a minute – HuffPo

Scott Disick just took a little booze-filled vacation from rehab, okay? – ICYDK

Gross Harvey Weinstein accused of being illegally gross (read: groping a woman) – Just Jared

Pic: Facebook

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