Slime Angelina Jolie? I Think Not.

March 29, 2015 / Posted by:

Earthbound seraphim Angelina Jolie made her presence known at the 2015 Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards last night. Nickelodeon’s yearly award show is known for “sliming” the celebrity presenters. Realizing that showering a demigoddess with slime would bring the world that much closer to the end times, she remained Kermit-spooge free. Cheered on by her daughters (you know them better as “the chosen ones”) Zahara and Shiloh, Angie accepted a blimp for Favorite Villain and Favorite Movie Actress for Malificent.

She had a message for all the chilluns:

“When I was a kid I was told – like Maleficent – that I was different. But then I realized something: different is good. So maybe you don’t fit in. Be yourself. And when someone tells you that you are different, just smile and hold your head up, and be proud. And as your villain, I would say, ‘Cause a little trouble. It is good for you!'”

The highly important decision not to slime Angelina might also have to do with her going through some more serious shit recently in regards to her health.

Be sure to click this link for a pic of Angie and her girls posing with that bass ass Meaghan Trainor person. Zahara’s expression reads “I’ll throw this lesser a bone and give her a pic for her scrapbook.” Shiloh’s reads “I really only listen to Sleator-Kinney, so I have no clue who this trick is.” And Angie is very “I’m always happy to gratify a seat-filler, but let’s get on with this.”

One sexy celeb who DID get a green load to the face was the show’s host, hot ass Nick Jonas! The highly untruthful Jennifer Lopez pressured him. Her lying ass didn’t get slimed either. SHE’S not a deity who recently nixed her ovaries, why does she get a pass?

All you kinky bitches into gunge can pant and pucker at the slimy screengrabs below. Nick really should have taken his shirt off first and flexed a little. While being green-jizzed upon. This is probably the wrong blog for these musings.

Check out vid of Angie’s speech below, as well as pics of her and the Chosen Ones, Nick’s green facial, and Nick and his chick Olivia Culpo on the orange carpet.

Photo credit: Splash & Zimbio

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