Night Crumbs

Serena Williams is on the cover of Vogue and a strange thing happened. They didn’t Photoshop her to infinity and beyond. Is Anna Wintour okay?! Did someone lock her in a closet? Did someone destroy her by dumping non-imported water on her? – Lainey Gossip

Miley Cyrus made a video where she’s sucking off a banana while wearing a hardened bukkake mask. You know, the usual – Drunken Stepfather

Taraji P. Henson was sick of her son getting racially profiled so she sent him to Howard University. But on a different note, Taraji P. Henson’s got a college-aged son?! – Celebitchy

Bethenny Frankel promised to never get legally married again, and now her divorce lawyers are sad, because they renovated their country houses with all the money they made from her first divorce battle – Reality Tea

You’ve probably already fapped to these pictures of Christopher Meloni, but why not go green and recycle by fapping to them again – The Berry

Fifty Shades of Xenu: Tommy Girl gets stripped down and tied up in the Mission Impossible: Rogue trailer – Towleroad

Now that’s the look of a young pup who knows she’ll probably suffer from douche inhalation real soon. Happy National Puppeh Day 🙁 – Jezebel

Jared Leto’s “Joker voice” sounds like Jack Nicholson with crack smoke-induced hoarseness – The Superficial

What in mangled bridesmaids dress from HELL is Christina Hendricks wearing? – Hollywood Tuna

Please tell me that Uma Thurman is wearing Blue Blockers – Popoholic

Jennifer Lawrence is done with the X-Men movies – Just Jared

The TV return of The X-Files is maybe sort of happening – Pajiba

For a minute there I thought Chris Evans was talking to a little boy in dress and heels – Popsugar

Jason Aldean upgraded his side ho’s status to main ho, which means there’s a side ho position available now – HuffPo

Bobbi Kristina Brown was moved to a new facility, is still in a coma – ICYDK

If Dakota Johnson seems a little more dead inside than usual to you, that’s probably because she heard her mom and Pimp Mama Kris moaning as they doubled teamed a young Mexican hustler during their vacation in Cabo – Defamer

RiRi brought the sophistication by wearing a house coat and coochie cutters – Egotastic!