And Now In “Rich People Problems” News, David Copperfield’s Penthouse Pool Exploded
Some seriously messy shit recently went down at David Copperfield’s fancy NYC apartment, and no, it had nothing to do with one of his doves getting a bad case of mid-illusion diarrhea (I don’t know if he even uses doves in his act, but that sounds sort of right to me). Page Six says that back on March 8th, the pump for his penthouse pool malfunctioned, causing the pool to burst and flood the four floors of his apartment. The pool quit a bitch so hard that pool water had reportedly soaked through 30 floors of rich people apartments below him.
David Copperfield was in Las Vegas at the time doing a magic show, but he was apparently freaking out because he was worried the pool explosion would ruin his collection of rare antique Coney Island arcade machines. This just in: the only thing creepier than a collection of antique Coney Island arcade machines is a collection of antique Coney Island arcade machines floating around in 3 feet of dank dirty water. David’s lawyer, Ted Blumberg, says the machines and much of his art is fine, but that the wallpaper and carpets were totally destroyed.
His lawyer says that David plans to fill the pool back up once they can be sure it’s fixed, and that it “wouldn’t surprise” him if David’s neighbors started filing law suits against him for fucking up their rich people apartments with pool water. Um, DUH! Water damage is no joke! David might want to pick up a couple extra shifts in Vegas, because I’ve got a feeling his neighbors are about to make a bunch of his money disappear.