Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 20, 2015 / Posted by:

Elizabeth Sullivan, the 104-year-old Texas memaw who knows the secret to a long-lasting healthy life and the secret is in a Dr. Pepper can!

Elizabeth Sullivan celebrated her 104th year alive at her home in Forth Worth, TX on Wednesday with one of her favorite things in the world, Dr. Pepper. Elizabeth fell in love with Dr. Pepper in her 60s and she hasn’t gone one day without powering her insides with her elixir of life. Elizabeth is on a 3 Dr. Peppers-a-day dose and told CBSDFW on the anniversary of her born day that doctors have told her that her sweet nectar of choice will kill her. But Elizabeth just takes a swig of Dr. Pepper and burps in their faces, because they obviously don’t know what they’re talking about.

“Every doctor that sees me says they’ll kill you, but they die and I don’t. So there must be a mistake somewhere.”

Elizabeth is still with it and can still take care of herself and she owes it all to Dr. Pepper. On her birthday, the CEO of the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group gifted the retired math teacher with a gift basket full of Dr. Pepper stuff. Those cheap fucks! Elizabeth has been a dedicated patient of theirs for over 40 years and she drinks so much of it that she probably pisses and spits it out and they say thank you with a gift basket? They should’ve given her a lifetime supply of Dr. Pepper. But then again, they probably know that they won’t be able to fulfill the promise of a lifetime supply of Dr. Pepper since Elizabeth will outlive them and outlive us all!

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