Why Did I Watch Randy & Evi Quaid’s Sex Tapes?

March 17, 2015 / Posted by:

Yes, tapes as in plural, as in more than one clip, as in I watched them all. It’s official: I’ll watch almost anything with the words “sex tape” in its title. I even watched that shitty Sex Tape movie with Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel. That’s how desperate I am.

If you thought to yourself, “I want more,” after watching that bizarre and beyond WTF video of Randy Quaid dry humping his wife Evi as she wore a picture of Rupert Murdoch over her face, then congratulations, you’re sucio and also, your wish has come true in a major way. A tipster sent Gawker a link to a k-hole of fuckery where Canada’s own (they belong to you now, Canada) Randy and Evi Quaid get into some Fifty Shades of Why? shit before she star whacks him off and they take turns sucking on each other’s down low parts. When I watched Vegas Vacation almost 20 years ago, I didn’t think I’d ever see Cousin Eddie giving himself a double moustache by sucking on his wife’s furry cooch, but here we are.

On the page with all their videos on it, Randy tells everyone to enjoy the show and promises to send you his Star Whackers documentary if you snail mail him a dollar:

STAR WHACKERS This Impressionistic feature length documentary about the life and times of Randy Quaid is being released via vidme by Honor Code Tweet Twitter.com/@EviQuaid or Twitter.com/@RandyRRQuaid. Or you can email to: Shipshore44@Gmail.com that you have sent $1.00 CASH to the “Evi and Randy Quaid Not For Profit Passport Fund” at: E & R QUAID 3385 RIPTON ROAD LINCOLN, VT 05443 USA After Randy receives your promise by email or Twitter that you mailed $1.00 CASH. ENJOY THE SHOW.

If you really need to see Randy and Evi’s sex tape clips, click here. It might be a little hot if you pretend they’re George R.R. Martin and Courteney Cox. And yes, we’re all that dog barking non-stop in the background.

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