Katy Perry Has Moved On From John Mayer To The Banjo Player From Mumford & Sons

March 17, 2015 / Posted by:

And by the look of their pictures, I’m sure I could have also written “two cast members from Count McNightmare’s Discount Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre are doing it” and you wouldn’t have thought anything of it. I’m sure even Katy Perry is staring at that picture like “Why do I look like Dynasty Dame Edna?

As of about six weeks ago, it appeared Katy Perry was still humping on John Mayer’s vinegar-scented douche stick and it seemed like they were sort of a thing again. However, according to the NY Daily News, they might have entered the off-again portion of their on-again/off-again relationship once again, because Katy allegedly spent Saturday night hooking up with Mumford & Sons banjo player Winston Marshall. A source claims that both Katy Perry and Mumford & Sons were playing in Berlin on Saturday night, and they ended up partying together after their shows. That’s when – to quote Chris Farley in Billy Madison – him and her. Got. It. On.

Of course, both Katy’s rep and Winston’s rep declined to say whether or not these two were humping.

I know practically nothing about Mumford & Sons besides banjos, hipster hair cuts, hats, scarves, and that their lead singer is married to Carey Mulligan and looks like an old timey version of Ken Marino, so I have no idea if this is good news for bad news for Katy Perry’s fuck parts. But I’m inclined to think it’s good news, because a messy one night stand is a good way to begin the complicated de-dickmatization process from John Mayer, which Katy very desperately needs.

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