If you heard a high-pitched shrieking sound this weekend that sounded sort of like Regina George after she discovered that Cady had been sabotaging her with those Kalteen bars, this will explain why. On Saturday, Marcia Brady’s 21st century equivalent Taylor Swift Instagrammed a picture of her left leg with a huge-ass bloody scratch down the side of it. According to Tay Tay, it was the work of one of her prized pussies, Meredith Grey. Tay Tay didn’t elaborate on what caused Meredith to lose her shit, but did address the rumor that she recently insured her legs for $40 million by captioning the photo:
“GREAT WORK MEREDITH. I WAS JUST TRYING TO LOVE YOU AND NOW YOU OWE ME 40 MILLION DOLLARS”
If I was Meredith, now would be the time I’d start hitting up Grumpy Cat and Garfield and Heathcliff and all my other rich pussy friends for some cash, because we all know Tay Tay doesn’t play when it comes to money.
And for those of you wondering whether or not you should be organizing a prayer vigil for lil’ Butterscotch, don’t worry – Taylor posted a pun-filled follow-up picture yesterday and she appears to be fine:
Even feline pun enthusiasts are groaning over that one. Me-OW? I guess “What a CATastrophe!” was too long. Still, if I were Tay Tay, I’d want to get to the bottom of why one of my pussies turned on me. Maybe it was out for revenge after it read that she had insured her legs for $40 million. “Are you kidding meow? I’ve asked her six times for an upgrade to Fancy Feast and every time that bitch says it’s not in the budget!”