Oh boy, here we go – time to play another game of what famous basic blonde is Chris Martin sticking his dick in now. The last time we checked, Chris Martin was still bumping his mopey scarf parts against Jennifer Lawrence’s pizza pocket, but that was back in February, so who even knows that their deal is. Regardless, TMZ thinks something might be up because Chris Martin spent his Saturday at the beach with a 3-months-single Kate Hudson. The beach? In the words of The Ashleys: scandalous!
Obviously, going to the beach doesn’t necessarily mean that two horny tricks are passing fuck fluids, especially since they brought their kids with them (and by the looks of the pics on TMZ, a whole mess more. For real, who do all those random kids belong to?). But if Grease has taught me anything, it’s that nasty shit goes down at the beach. Also, UsWeekly threw up a picture of Kate Hudson on her beach date/not date and she wearing a body chain, aka The Slut’s Rosary. Then again, Chris Martin was wearing some kind of surfer Mormon wetsuit thing, so who knows what was going on.
All I really know is that I’m jealous as hell that those two spent Saturday on the beach. Know how I spent my Saturday? Trying to get the radiator in my cold-ass office to work while I search the internet for “When will sun come out to not make face look like Lydia from Beetlejuice no more“.