It’s been much, much too long since we’ve all gotten a piping hot, extra large serving of cuntness from gold digging grand champion and one of my cunt idols Heather Mills, so thankfully she was asked to be on Ireland’s The Late Late Show where she delivered a beautifully bitchy gem. Heather, who was only relevant for being married to Paul McCartney, was a little pissed when the host Ryan Tubridy brought up Paul McCartney’s name. Thankfully for him, Heather Mills didn’t pull a Heather Mills by dumping a glass of water on his head, but she did say that she wasn’t there to talk about Paul. Ryan told Heather that people are interested in what she has to say about Paul and she responded by spitting out this shiny jewel of delusion:
“No, they’re not. That’s the thing. If I go down the street, all I get is kids coming up to me, half of them don’t even know who he is. That’s why he has to do songs with Rihanna and Kanye West, so people remember. But you know, most of the time I have people coming down the street and saying, ‘Oh my god! You’re a ski-racer’ or ‘You help the animals.’ I own the biggest vegan company in the world. Most of the money I do goes into helping animals, disabled kids, landmine clearing charities… You know, things that are changing the world. This is just someone I fell in love with who to me was a normal guy that happened to write a few cool songs in the 60s and a few in the 70s. It was just someone I fell in love with.”
1. Heather Mills thinks that Heather Mills is more relevant and “in with the kids” than Paul McCartney. If delusion needs inspiration on how to be more delusional, it should spend time with Heather Mills.
2. We all know that “kids” aren’t running up to Heather Mills in the street. That’s crazy. Most kids have been told at a very, very young age to never ever go up to that witch Heather Mills, because she’ll eat their souls.
3. If anyone does go up to Heather Mills in the street, the only question they probably ask her is, “Do you still have that PT Cwuza?”