Your move, Chris Hansen.
Last month, Wiz Khalifa’s outlet mall equivalent Tyga swore up and down during a Power 105 radio interview that he wasn’t rubbing his his 25-year-old sex parts on the 17-year-old underage sex parts of aspiring Real Doll Kylie Jenner. Well, I guess he got tired of everyone shooting him “Uh huh, sure” side-eyes, because last night he said fuck it and Instagrammed a picture of his high school girlfriend with the caption:
“Certain things catch your eye, but only few capture the heart“
“Awww, that is so sweet!” said Pedobear. “Aw shit, that is 8 layers of NO” said the rest of us.
Of course, Tyga didn’t come right out and says “I am humping on this plastic-looking teenager”, but that creepy catch your eye/capture the heart shit was probably enough to make Tyga’s lawyer start nervously tugging at the collar of his shirt and telling his assistant to hold all his calls for the next little while while he tries to explain to his client that just because he chose a picture of his girlfriend where she looks like she’s pushing 40 doesn’t make it any less not-right.
Meanwhile, Pimp Mama Kris kouldn’t be prouder that the youngest and least marketable of her whores has finally found her calling. Hey, in PMK’s world, being the putty-faced jail bait girlfriend of someone semi-famous is a calling.
Speaking of jobs, here’s Kylie looking like an off-off-off brand version of Old Kim (prototype model name: Kam Krudashun) while hustling some drugstore face cream she definitely never uses in London earlier today: