Shailene Woodley, the sage-scented stoner-sounding human that was created by letting the DNA of Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart ferment in a mason jar of kombucha, is a fountain of WTF-worthy advice. Yesterday we all got second hand baked out of our skulls while trying to understand Shailene’s explanation of how she falls in love with someone else, and now she’s back to offer us yet another health tip. Watch out, Dr. Oz – once she starts talking about poop, you’re officially out of a job.
Some of Shailene’s past health tips included making your own medicine (note: as someone who once tried to make their own home-made cough syrup, DON’T) and eating clay, and she recently told MTV News that her latest health obsession is bone broth. “Bone broth” sounds like a clever euphemism for what you get when you jack-off a chef, but Shailene’s bone broth is actually just a drink made from boiling animal bones in water. Exactly, it’s soup stock – she’s making soup stock.
According to Shailene, bone broth is “the shit“. Or maybe she meant to say it will give you the shits, because as anyone who has ever chugged too much chicken soup stock knows, greasy animal water + sensitive butt holes = no bueno.
I make soup stock all the time, so I get cramming a food-grade animal skeleton into a pot with water and onions. But like Octavia Spencer says in the video above, you need to put noodles in that shit. Otherwise you’re just eating salty bone water. Salty bone water isn’t a food! It’s just a vessel for delicious noodles.
Here’s the Simi Valley version of Dr. Steve Brule at the Copenhagen premiere of Divergent: Insurgent yesterday with her co-star Theo James, a dude who looks like the test tube baby of Tom Green and James Franco: