Of course Johnny Depp’s busted hand would be wrapped in some kind of home-made duct tape tube sock hobo cast. The only way Johnny Depp’s busted hand could get any more Johnny Depp-y would be if it was immobilized using a dirty pizza box lid splint and wrapped in a $229 vintage hipster scarf. Although I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before it’s covered in hand-carved skull beads and random gold teeth.
Variety says that Johnny’s hand looks the way it does (ie. a damn mess) because he fucked it up on location for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales this weekend. They didn’t say what happened, but apparently it’s bad enough that he had to leave the set in Australia and fly home to the US to fix it with surgery. They do know that he didn’t injure his hand during filming, aka this was an after-work sort of whoops. They add that filming won’t really change that much while he’s gone and they’re just going to shoot scenes that don’t have Captain Jack Sparrow in them.
But how did Johnny do it? I’m going to guess he either lost an arm-wrestling fight with a chupacabra or got all tangled up in his 8,000 necklaces. On the bright side, he can make the most of it by using the rest of that duct tape to play the most authentic game of Edward Fortyhands ever played.
Here’s more of Johnny dragging his busted hand aboard a private jet so he can fly home for surgery. I feel so bad for the OR prep nurse who struggled to cut that gross duct tape sock off Johnny’s hand only to find she’d then have to cut off 10lbs of silver bracelets and rings.