Sony Is Planning To Whore The Hell Out Of Ghostbusters

March 9, 2015 / Posted by:

Slimer’s already got a sloppy b-hole and now it’s going to get even sloppier, because Sony is planning to pass that trick around to anybody and everybody for a dollar.

The all-lady Ghostbusters movie is already in the works, and today Sony announced that they’re planning an all-bro Ghostbusters starring Channing Tatum. I know, we already had an all-dude Ghostbusters, it was called Ghostbusters. Deadline says that The Russo Brothers, who directed Captain America: The Winter Soldier, will mostly likely direct the douche version of Ghostbusters and Drew Pearce, who wrote Iron Man 3, will write the words. Channing will produce and is hoping to star in it. So basically, it’s probably going to be like 22 Jump Street but with ghosts. Expect a lot of jokes about shitting in their jumpsuits and expect to see Jonah Hill (who will obviously be in this) get a hand job from a lady ghost while drinking an Ecto Cooler energy drink.

Deadline also says that Sony isn’t stopping with two Ghostbusters movies. They’ve formed a production company called Ghostcorps, which will shit up more movies, TV shows and merchandise. Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd are running Ghostcorps. Ivan told Deadline their plans to fill the world with more Ghostbusters shit:

“We want to expand the Ghostbusters universe in ways that will include different films, TV shows, merchandise, all things that are part of modern filmed entertainment. This is a branded entertainment, a scary supernatural premise mixed with comedy. Paul Feig’s film will be the first version of that, shooting in June to come out in July 2016. He’s got four of the funniest women in the world, and there will be other surprises to come. The second film has a wonderful idea that builds on that. Drew will start writing and the hope is to be ready for the Russo Brothers’ next window next summer to shoot, with the movie coming out the following year. It’s just the beginning of what I hope will be a lot of wonderful movies.”

I don’t think we sprang forward on Sunday morning, I think we fell all the way back to 1984. Because Sony is suddenly going Ghostbusters crazy. Since they’re making a Ghostbusters movie for women and a Ghostbusters movie for bros, I fully expect them to make a Ghostbusters movie for every group that exists. So poke at me when they make an all-puppies Ghostbusters movie and an all-nudist Ghostbusters movie starring Alexander Skarsgard.

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