And in “What Is Lindsay Lohan Causing Possible Damage To Now” news. London’s current problem Lindsay Lohan is currently unemployed (unless you count juggling lawsuits as a job, in which case bitch is working overtime), which means she has a lot more time to take pictures of herself apropos of nothing. So on Saturday she Tweeted a picture of herself looking like a down-on-her-luck Carmen Sandiego two days before the rent is due with the caption: “Break the Internet with clothes on
I’m not sure Lindsay knows how the internet works, because if every picture of a nearly-topless tramp in 10lbs of fake hair could break the internet, Instagram would have already shattered the internet worse than Mama June’s knee cartilage. Or maybe this is just one of the Apricot Ashtray’s classic grifts. First she claims the internet was broken when she got it, then demands she receive a new internet plus a full refund of her money and a handful of coupons. I used to work retail, I know how damaged goods scams work.
Speaking of damaged goods, she also took a picture of her hanging out with the President of the Diskount Hooker Warehouse Kris Jenner and the Kardashian family’s official spackle applicator Joyce Bonelli:
That sound you just heard was the internet cracking under the weight of PMKs thirsty fame whore game.