Jussie Smollett From Empire Isn’t In The Closet
Just like Jack Fellateme from How To Get Away With Murder, Jussie Smollett, whose character on Empire recently sang and danced his way out of the closet, has never said publicly if his tongue gets the tingles for peen, poon or both. He won’t talk about his personal life. But recently, his Empire co-star, Malik Yoba, accidentally let it slip that he’s gay before taking it all back and playing the “misquoted” card. While shooting an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, Jussie Smollett once again refused to totally get into his personal life, but afterward, he pulled her aside and told her he needed to talk her about something. So Ellen took him to a room that looks like a fancier thrift shop and sat him down on a daybed that looks like it came directly from the junkyard but probably costs $90,000. (The video is after the cut.)
Jussie told Ellen that even though he does not want to get into his personal life (Did I mention that Jussie Smollett does not want to get into his personal life?), he wants it be known that if you’re sending him fan mail to The Closet, that shit is going bounce back, because he’s never lived or rented space in there. Jussie said that he wanted his first interview to be with her and then went on to say that he couldn’t even show you where The Closet is on the map, because he’s never been there.
“It was very, very important to me that my first performance and talk show, that it was with you. You’ve been such an inspiration to so many, but also to me. What you’ve done in the LGBT community is very much, in my opinion, kind of like what Michael Jackson did with the black community. Just that you are who you are. He was just Michael, and you’re just Ellen.
So it was really important to me to make sure that it got across that there is no closet. There’s never been a closet that I’ve been in. I don’t own a closet. I got a dresser, but I don’t have a closet. But I have a home and that is my responsibility to protect that home. So that’s why I choose to why I choose not to talk about my personal life. But there is, without a doubt, no closet that I’ve ever been in, and I just wanted to make that clear, but it was most important for me to make that clear to you, on your show, at this time in the world. And that’s where I’m at. I’m such a fan and am so inspired.”
Since I am of a simple mind and need to be slapped in the face with a gigantic hard dick made of obvious to get the point, I watched that part of the interview and didn’t really know what Jussie was trying to say. Was he saying that he’s just him and there’s nothing to come out of or is he saying that he has a clothes hanger phobia? I don’t know! But after talking with Ellen a little more, he made it clear in the clearest way possible that he’s a really good friend of Dorothy Maria.
“My mama knows. My mama likes me a lot. And yes, I take her to the Sound of Music sing-along every single year. So, any questions?”
The hills are alive with the sound of my dumb ass saying, “ooooooh okay.” So if you’re a gay dude who wants to come out to someone, but don’t want to say the words, “I’m gay,” just take your mom to the Sound of Music sing-along and tell them about it. No questions will ever need to be asked again.
Fun Fact: Jussie’s mom’s name is Janet, his dad’s name is Joel and his siblings’ names are Jake, Jocqui, Jojo, Jazz and Jurnee (who was on Friday Night Lights and True Blood). Not only do his brothers and sisters have the names of Hobbit characters, but his family are battling the Duggars for the letter J.
Pic: Zellhaus