Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 3, 2015 / Posted by:

This seemingly magical picture of a weasel friend hitching a ride on a woodpecker friend’s back.

Do not read past this paragraph if you want to stay living in an innocent Disney world where in reality, this green woodpecker and this weasel have a beautiful friendship and are flying up to the top of a mountain peak to eat gooseberry tarts and drink honeysuckle nectar with their other friends, a mongoose and a butterfly, as a baby rattlesnake serenades them with an acoustic version of “Best of Friends.” As they fly so high against the sky, that woodpecker is softly singing to the weasel: “I can show you the wooooorld…. Shining, shimmering, spleeeeeendid. Tell me, weasel, now when did you last let your heart deciiiiiide?” That’s what we want to believe, but well, (SECOND WARNING: Do not click that link if you’re too fragile and innocent to handle the truths of life.) that’s not what’s happening in that picture. The truth is:

That weasel is trying to murder that woodpecker’s body! Oh, nature, why do you have to be so real?

Amateur photographer Martin Le-May of Essex took the picture and tweeted it. It almost immediately went viral and some pointed it and said, “Awwww, lewk @ thoze fwends on a nice Mondee afternoons ride!” But Martin tells ITV News that the woodpecker is screaming in distress as the weasel tries to take it down and eat it. Martin says he was taking a stroll with his wife when they heard the woodpecker screaming, “Bitch, get off of me!

As we walked we heard a distressed squawking and I saw that flash of green. So hurriedly I pointed out to Ann the bird and it settled into the grass behind a couple of small silver birch trees. Both of us trained our binoculars and it occurred that the woodpecker was unnaturally hopping about like it was treading on a hot surface. Lots of wing flapping showing that gloriously yellow/white colour interspersed with the flash of red head feathers. Just after I switched from my binoculars to my camera the bird flew across us and slightly in our direction; suddenly it was obvious it had a small mammal on its back and this was a struggle for life.

Martin and his wife thought it was the end for the green woodpecker, but it was able to get away.

The woodpecker landed in front of us and I feared the worst. I guess though our presence, maybe 25 metres away, momentarily distracted the weasel. The woodpecker seized the opportunity and flew up and away into some bushes away to our left. Quickly the bird gathered its self respect and flew up into the trees and away from our sight.

The woodpecker left with its life, the weasel just disappeared into the long grass, hungry.

And after the weasel scurried into the bushes to catch its breath, it sat on the ground and realized that it actually felt something special while clinging onto that woodpecker. There was something there. If that weasel could do it all again, it wouldn’t try to bite that woodpecker’s neck off. It would hold on tight  and let that bird take it on a wondrous adventure. That weasel will never forget the would-be best friend that got away. In ten years, the weasel and the woodpecker will run into each other again while both of their families play in a pond. They’ll lock eyes and as the woodpecker fills with fear, the weasel will wink at it and throw it a warm smile. Fear will leave the woodpecker’s body as they both laugh and laugh and laugh. The end.

Pic: @KingYamel

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