If Linda Perry asked the question “What’s going on?” anytime last Saturday, the answer shouted back at her was probably “Your wife’s cervix is 4 centimeters dilated.” According to The Daily Mail, Sara Gilbert spent her Saturday birthing out the baby boy that was chilling out inside her for the past 9 months. This is Sara and Linda’s first baby together, and they’ve named him Rhodes Emilio Gilbert Perry. Sara also has two kids from a previous relationship, a 10-year-old son named Levi and a 7-year-old daughter named Sawyer.
I don’t know if Linda and Sara will refer to their baby as Rhodes or Rhodes Emilio, but I hope they go formal and refer to him as Rhodes Gilbert Perry. Rhodes Gilbert Perry sounds like the name of an old money character from a movie about a messy party slob son who inherits his father’s snobby country club. Rhodes Gilbert Perry’s best friend is Franklin Franklinton III, and they don’t understand what pizza is.
Then again, I’m sure he’s nothing like this Rhodes Gilbert Perry character I’ve invented. Baby Rhodes no doubt spent his 9 months on the inside absorbing as much cool from Mommy Linda as possible. I wouldn’t doubt you if you told me slid out of Sara’s womb wearing an infant-sized necklace out of a set of vintage bronze keys and a knit beanie while riffing on a tiny Les Paul guitar. I don’t know how he got it up there, but leave it to a cool baby to find a way.
And if you want to see what it would look like if Darlene from Roseanne tried to steal a basketball for David, here’s Sara a couple weeks ago before she gave birth: