If you’re looking at the name “Russell Tovey” and are thinking to yourself, “Harpo, who dis woman,” I have two things to tell you. 1. You need to say, “Harpo, who dis manly masculine man,” instead, because Russell ain’t no fem. 2. Russell is an openly gay British actor with perfect blowjob handle ears who is currently on HBO’s Looking and was a wolf in the UK show Being Human for 4 seasons.
One of my first memories of a grown up throwing a curse word in front of me was when I was around 4 or 5. I was playing in the front yard and my dad was doing something in the garage. His friend, who lived across the street from us, walked up the driveway and said to me, “You’re such a fruit.” I thanked him, because I thought he was giving me a compliment. But my dad stopped what he was doing and shouted at the dude, “Say that again and I’ll fuck you up.” Well, if anybody called Russell Tovey a fruit in front of his dad, his dad probably wouldn’t threaten to beat a trick for it. He’d be too busy dragging his son to gay conversion therapy.
Russell did an interview with The Guardian to promote his new BBC show Banished and the big quote making the rounds is the one where he pretty much says he’s glad that he can answer all the Grindr profiles with the words, “MASC4MASC ONLY NO FEMZ” in them. Russell wanted to go to a theater school when he was a kid, but his dad wouldn’t let him. Russell’s glad his dad spit and shat on that idea, because if he went, he might’ve turned into a glitter-farting, sissy big girl queen instead of the big butch Brawny Man he is today.
“I was so envious of everyone who went to Sylvia Young Theatre School. I wanted to go but my dad flat-out refused. He thought I’d become some tapdancing freak without qualifications. And he was right in a way. I’m glad I didn’t go. That might have changed…
I feel like I could have been really effeminate, if I hadn’t gone to the school I went to. Where I felt like I had to toughen up. If I’d have been able to relax, prance around, sing in the street, I might be a different person now. I thank my dad for that, for not allowing me to go down that path. Because it’s probably given me the unique quality that people think I have.
I get told, a lot, that I’m kind of carving my own path. That there are not many actors who are out and are able to play straight, and gay, and everyone’s OK with it.”
I would write a 4,000 word piece about how this butch bitch needs to get over himself, but I have better things to do like prance around and sing in the street. I’m not joking. It’s raining right now and every big queen should never miss out on an opportunity to prance around and sing the lyrics to “Singin’ In The Rain” in the actual rain.
But really, I read the whole piece at The Guardian, and it makes sense as to why Russell is so thankful he’s “str8 acting.” He was knifed in the ear on the train for wearing a cardigan when he was 18 and when he told his parents he’s gay, they tried to find “a cure” for him. So yeah. And to answer the question that might’ve popped in your head, Jeremy Irons isn’t Russell Tovey’s dad. I checked already.