Sing with me now: “Hold me closer, lion daaaaaancer“.
One of the more WTF-worthy headlines I saw this morning was “Lion Eats Prince William’s Head”. Naturally, my mind immediately went to a place that involved a segment from an episode of When Animals Attack: Royals Edition featuring Prince William calling for the help of The Queen’s elite team of RescueCorgis while a lion gnawed at his head like it was a loaf of sourdough.
As it turns out, it was far less dramatic and way more adorable than what I had imagined. PW was visiting The Chime of Hope Shopping Centre in Ishinomaki, Japan and he was greeted by several lion dancers. I don’t know much about lion dancers, besides the fact that they sort of look like Grubby from Teddy Ruxpin had a baby with a festive tablecloth, but I’m guessing they were going to town on Will’s cranium because it’s good luck to attempt to swallow the head of a royal dude. “That’s not the only royal dude whose head I’d like to go to town on, if you know what I’m saying” followed by a picture of Prince Hot Ginge is the text I’m predicting I’ll receive in about 5 seconds from Michael K.
Here’s more of PW getting some kisses (???) from his lion dancer friends. It’s a good thing Baby Prince George didn’t come with him, otherwise those lion dancer heads probably would have ended up getting yanked off and his mounted on his tiny baby trophy wall.