And it begins! Mere minutes after Kelly Osbourne announced that she was saying Bye, Bitch to Fashion Police and thus retiring the phrase “You really needed to see it in person” forever, the decision-making hos at E! are starting to find their mailboxes stuffed full of resumes from desperates looking to fill her spot. Since Ryan Seacrest and his out-of-country business partner Satan practically run the E! network, the most obvious prediction for Kelly’s replacement would be Khloe Kardashian. Now UsWeekly is saying that Kelly’s replacement could be Khloe, but it could also be NeNe Leakes.
A source close to Khloe (the poor soul paid to help pad her ass with Kim’s Choice™ upholstery foam before she goes out) says that it’s “very possible” that she could be chosen to fill Kelly’s still-warm seat next to Giuliana Rancic, adding:
“She was supposed to do it last time and passed. She may consider doing it again but the offer would have to be really high. It’s a lot of extra work for her.”
I’m sorry, did that source just say filming Fashion Police would be “extra” work for Khloe? I didn’t realize getting papped going to the gym and getting read to filth on Twitter by Amber Rose was considered full-time work. Regardless, I know that source says that E! would have to come up with some serious cash to snag the Khloe, but let’s be honest with ourselves “source”; we’re talking in the tens of hundreds and a case of extra-strength tit tape.
And as far as NeNe Leakes goes, UsWeekly says that shortly after Joan Rivers passed away, NeNe’s name was thrown around as a possible replacement. The job eventually went to Kathy Griffin, but now that there’s another empty spot up for grabs, a source claims that her name has been mentioned as a replacement once again.
This whole Fashion Police mess started because Giuliana opened her mouth and pissed off Twitter by saying that Zendaya’s hair looked like it smelled of patchouli and weed, so I don’t know if it’s a good idea to throw another person on the panel with even less of a verbal filter. Patchouli and weed is nothing compared to what will be burped up by Khloe Kardashian. Khloe’s first language is a dialect specific to the Calabasas region called Classless Trashenese, so most of the stuff she says on camera will probably been deemed “too lewd” by the FCC. And NeNe won’t even make it to the fashion portion of Fashion Police; she’ll be too busy throwing eye-shade to the bitch who dared to seat her anywhere but the middle chair.