And here’s some fap material for all of you sucio freaks out there whose type is a dirty grifter who will bone you behind a Walmart and afterward wipe your genitals with his stained shirt before he smokes a USA Gold cigarette while pissing on the dumpster.
After getting coffee with his girlfriend Mia Goth in L.A. yesterday, Shia LaDouche served up some “Joe Dirt’s prison bitch second cousin” messiness for the paps. If Chloe Sevigny had a baby with the movie Gummo, it would look like Shia. If Shia and Mia showed up to an extras casting for a remake of Monster, the casting director would probably say, “Too much. Too much.” You know, Shia should really be a gentlemen and cut out a pair of eyebrows from his rattail for Mia.
And up until December, Shia had a shaved head, so either he has the ability to grow hair at lightning speed (if that’s the case, John Travolta would like to clone Shia’s scalp) or he’s wearing a rattail weave. I really can’t at him wearing a fake rattail. I don’t know whether to laugh my lungs up or bow at his commitment to Florida backwoods glamour.