That sound you just heard was my inbox preparing to quit a bitch in anticipation of all the angry Robsten fangirl emails I’m about to receive that begin with the subject line “RE: That Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-looking SKAAAAAANK!!!!”
So, I don’t know if “canoodly” is even a word, since I’m the type of person who scheduled all my college classes around The Jenny Jones Show, but it’s the best way to describe what former vampire/current aspiring dock worker Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs were doing at a BRIT Awards afterparty. According to The Daily Mail, RFK Pantytwigs were seen getting all canoodly at the Warner Music Brits party, ie: they were holding hands and touching on each other. I know, a couple acting like a couple in public – SHOCKING. But trust me, there are definitely some die-hard Robsten fans who reacted to this news by spitting out a mouthful of sex-in-a-pan while whipping their copy of Fifty Shades Darker at the framed Edward Cullen poster on their wall.
I don’t know why RPattz is so obsessed with that low-budget Rent Boy from Trainspotting look, but either he needs to step it up a bit in the style department or she needs to hire a crappier stylist, because these two are starting to look like one of the mismatched couples on Jenny Jones every time she did an episode about unconventional relationships. I can just imagine Rude Jude as Cupid in front of a busted green screen wondering what circumstances brought a perpetually wet-looking sexy lady and the love child of Jimbo and Kearney from The Simpsons together.
Here’s more of a grimy-looking RPattz and a fancy-looking FKA Twigs leaving a BRIT Awards afterparty yesterday, as well as FKA Twigs looking fancy on the red carpet: