Raise your hand if you too looked at this picture of Jamie Dornan and the sad Charlie Brown music started playing. Something tells me that’s the exact same face he made when his agent told him he’s not going anywhere.
Yesterday there was a rumor going around that Jamie Dornan had found a loophole in the contract he signed with Satan that could get him out of a Fifty Shades of Grey sequel and he was saying ‘bye bitch’ to Christian Grey. However, today Jamie Dornan is saying the rumor that he’s leaving is a lie (even if in his heart I’m sure he wishes it were true). Jamie’s people released a statement to ABC News today confirming that he has no plans to leave that awful mess:
“Jamie is delighted that the film is breaking box office records worldwide and whilst the studio has not made any formal announcements about sequels, he is looking forward to making the next film.”
I speak bullshit PR, so allow me to translate for you: Jamie signed a contract, so Jamie can’t leave. We don’t care how embarrassed he is of Fifty Shades, as long as this shit is pulling in more money than Jesus after rigging the powerball in Heaven, he’ll put on the grey suit and make with the slappitty-slap.
Well, there you have it. Looks like EL James can stop writing a list (sorry – poorly writing a list) of potential hunks to replaceme Jamie and living breathing tube of unflavored Carmex Dakota Johnson can stop texting her agent “NOT FAIR! WHY DOES HE GET TO LEAVE?!?“