Say it with me now: BEETLEJUICE WAS ROBBED!!! So, sexy JFILF (Jack Frost I’d like to…you know) Michael Keaton didn’t win the Oscar for Best Actor, and neither did humanoid alien replicant person Benedict Cumberbatch, which means 2/3 of the people taking part in some hush-hush Oscar night gambling lost a couple bucks last night (cut to Steve Carell handing over $20 to Bradley Cooper as he curses out Benedict for not hustling harder).
But that means that charming freckled British elf Eddie Redmayne won for the origin story of Stephen Hawking, and holy shit, he was all kinds of excited. Eddie Redmayne winning an Oscar is me every Saturday I wake up in time for McDonalds breakfast. He was clutching that Oscar statue like it was a dick that came wishes when you jerked it off. I’m sure that after the ceremony, he had to be reminded several times “Sir, you need to let go of the award while we engrave it, or else you might lose a finger” (“WORTH IT” thought Eddie).
Eddie’s acceptance speech was pretty much what I assumed his acceptance speech was going to be (ie: he didn’t talk about his Pappy making gumbo in his underpants), but did I hear him say that the Oscar was coming home to live with him and his wife in their apartment? Why did I just picture Eddie cornering his Oscar in the kitchen to ask for his portion of the rent money.
Here’s Eddie after the awards posing for pictures with his new BFF, and later at the Vanity Fair party his wife Hannah Bagshawe: