Kirk Cameron Is An Award-Winning Movie Actor Now
On Kirk Cameron’s shelf of achievements, his Kids Choice Award and People’s Choice Awards are about to get some company. The 35th annual Golden Raspberry Awards were shat out last night and the majority voted Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas as the biggest dingle that clung to Hollywood’s dirty asshole hairs last year. Saving Christmas is not only known as the movie that makes Jesus cry and say to himself, “I blame myself for that shit show,” but it’s also now known as a multiple Razzie winner! As Leonardo DiCaprio dries his tears on a Victoria’s Secret model’s (or RiRi’s) vagina lips while stroking his imaginary Oscar statue tonight, Kirk Cameron will be polishing his brand new Razzies. At least someone in the Growing Pains cast is winning awards.
Saving Christmas won Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Screenplay and Worst Screen Combo. Even though it won 4 awards, it didn’t even come close to snatching away Jack & Jill’s record of 10 wins. You’ll be Jack & Jill next time, Kirk. If anyone can find a way to be worse, it’s you. But still, Kirk should celebrate with a Subway sub!
He earned it!
After the cut are the rest of the winners. And after six nominations, Cameron Diaz was finally honored for her contribution to cinematic turds:
Worst Picture
“Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas”
“Left Behind”
“The Legend of Hercules”
“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”
“Transformers 4: Age of Extinction”
Worst Director
Michael Bay, “Transformers 4: Age of Extinction”
Darren Doane, “Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas”
Renny Harlin, “The Legend of Hercules”
Jonathan Liebesman, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”
Seth Macfarlane, “A Million Ways to Die in the West”
Worst Actor
Kirk Cameron, “Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas”
Nicolas Cage, “Left Behind”
Kellan Lutz, “The Legend of Hercules”
Seth Macfarlane, “A Million Ways to Die in the West”
Adam Sandler, “Blended”
Worst Supporting Actor
Mel Gibson, “Expendables 3″
Kelsey Grammer, “Expendables 3,” “Legends of Oz,” “Think Like a Man Too,” “Transformers 4: Age of Extinction”
Shaquille O’Neal, “Blended”
Arnold Schwarzenegger, “Expendables 3″
Kiefer Sutherland, “Pompeii”
Worst Actress
Drew Barrymore, “Blended”
Cameron Diaz, “The Other Woman” and “Sex Tape
Melissa McCarthy, “Tammy”
Charlize Theron, “A Million Ways to Die in the West”
Gaia Weiss, “The Legend of Hercules”
Worst Supporting Actress
Cameron Diaz, “Annie”
Megan Fox, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”
Nicola Peltz, “Transformers 4: Age of Extinction”
Susan Sarandon, “Tammy”
Brigitte Ridenour (nee Cameron), “Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas”
Worst Screenplay
“Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas,” written by Darren Doane and Cheston Hervey
“Left Behind,” screenplay by Paul LaLonde and John Patus, based on the novel by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
“Sex Tape,” screenplay by Kate Angelo and Jason Segel & Nicholas Stoller
“Transformers 4: Age of Extinction,” written by Ehren Kruger, based on Hasbro’s Transformers action figures
“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” written by Evan Daugherty and Andre Nemec & Josh Applebaum, based on characters created by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman
Worst Remake, Sequel, or Rip-off
“Annie”
“Atlas Shrugged #3: Who Is John Galt?”
“The Legend of Hercules”
“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”
“Transformers 4: Age of Extinction”
Worst Screen Combo
Any two robots, actors, or robotic actors, “Transformers 4: Age of Extinction”
Kirk Cameron and his ego, “Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas”
Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, “Sex Tape”
Kellen Lutz and either his abs, his pecs, or his glutes, “The Legend of Hercules”
Seth Macfarlane and Charlize Theron, “A Million Ways to Die in the West”
Redeemer Award
Ben Affleck: From Razzie “Winner” for “Gigli” to Oscar darling for “Argo” and “Gone Girl”
Jennifer Aniston: From four-time Razzie nominee to SAG award nominee for “Cake”
Mike Myers: From Razzie “Winner” for “Love Guru” to Docu Director of “Supermensch”
Keanu Reeves: From six-time Razzie nominee to the critically acclaimed “John Wick”
Kristen Stewart: From six-time Razzie “Winner” for “Twilight” to the art house hit “Camp X-Ray”
Pic: @KirkCameron