Take a good look, because this might be the last time you see sexy hipster Jesus in a while. Jared Leto got the job playing The Joker in that upcoming Suicide Squad movie, because I guess they’re going for more of a hot dirtbag who sells homemade moustache wax at the Bushwick farmer’s market sort of thing with The Joker this time around, and he recently told Billboard (via People) that he plans on gaining some serious chunk for it.
Jared doesn’t say whether or not he’ll be getting Jared Leto as Mark David Chapman-levels of heavy, but he does admit that he’s currently eating every couple of hours. According to Billboard, he’s already started and he was eating vegan tacos during their interview. VEGAN TACOS?!? You can’t get fat eating vegan tacos unless you’re topping your tacos with french fries and dipping them in Duncan Hines Creamy Home-Style Frosting (it’s vegan, I checked). Then again, maybe he’s not going for Fat Joker, just more of a Sodium Bloat Joker or a Post-Waffle House Binge Joker.
But if he is planning on getting big-big, then he better watch out, because I’ve heard that gaining and losing a bunch of weight in a short amount of time can really frig around with your body. Especially for a 43-year-old like Jared. I mean, what if Jared’s extra chunk doesn’t distribute itself properly and it all ends up concentrated in one place? “NOOOO!!! I don’t have any more stretch left in me!” screamed the skin around Jared’s giant eggplant-sized dick.