Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 19, 2015 / Posted by:

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! May Shakira let out her goat yodel all year long, because 2015 is the Year of the Goat (or Sheep Or Ram)!

In honor of it being the Year of the Goat, I’m paying tribute to one of America’s greatest politicians, who just so happened to be a goat! Behold, Clay Henry III, the beer-guzzling former mayor of Lajitas, TX. Many politicians have cloven hooves, because they’re demons from HELL, but Clay Henry III had cloven hooves, because he was a goat.

Sadly, this is a posthumous HSOTD tribute since Clay Henry III is now guzzling down the sweet nectar in the great big Lone Star beer brewery in the sky. But before he hiccuped his way to heaven, he served as the mayor of Lajitas, a small border town in West Texas, from 2000 until his death (year unknown). Clay Henry III comes from one of America’s most underrated political family dynasties: the Clay Henry goats!

The first Clay Henry became the mayor of Lajitas in the 1980s and he became known as the goat who would pick up your beer and drink it when you weren’t looking. Clay Henry eventually became a tourist attraction and people would travel to Lajitas to watch him guzzle down beer (sometimes up to 40 a day) like your drunk uncle at a family reunion. Clay Henry served as mayor for over 10 years, but his political career came to an end in the early 90s when he died after fighting with a younger goat over the affections of a lady goat. Clay Henry was later stuffed and there’s an altar to his greatness at the Trading Post in Lajitas. Some say that Clay Henry Sr. is the reason why Rob Ford got into politics. Clay Henry’s son, Clay Henry II, took over as mayor, but that job wasn’t for him and he left office in 1998.

Lajitas was without a mayor for a couple of years, but after tourists visiting the resort there demanded a new one, an election was held in 2000. Clay Henry III (who may or may not be related to the previous Clay Henries) ran against a dog named Clyde and a wooden Indian. It has been called one of the most riveting and thrilling political races of all-time. Clay Henry III won and he was put up in a fancy mayoral pen where he gladly performed his two duties: greet tourists and guzzle down his beer of choice, Lone Star. Lone Star truly is the beer of champions (see: Clay Henry III and Rust Cohle).

Mayor Clay Henry III’s political career wasn’t without tragedy. In November 2001, the new owner of the resort wanted to show tourists the mayor’s talent. The owner took a beer from a goat-hating, dark-sided piece of trash named Jim Bob Hargrove and gave it to Mayor Clay Henry III. Clay Henry III immediately drank it and Jim Bob didn’t like that his beer was given to a goat. Later that night, he got revenge by cutting off Clay Henry III’s nuts. Jim Bob was arrested and charged with animal cruelty, but he was never convicted, because the judge ruled that the resort also committed animal cruelty by giving beer to a goat. Clay Henry III recovered from the attack and went on to live a happy beer-drinking life.

And that is the story of Mayor Clay Henry III, the beer-drinking goat who should’ve been president. It is also one of the most Texas stories in history.

Pic: Houston Chronicle

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