Tyga, Tigger’s creepy cousin who was kicked out of the Hundred Acre Wood for hitting on Christopher Robin’s little friends, went on Power 105’s The Breakfast Club this morning to talk about the Whore War between Amber Rose and Khloe Kartrashian that broke out over him possibly wet humping on 17-year-old Kylie Jenner. If 25-year-old Tyga actually admitted to R. Kelly’ing a minor, the lizard police may have dragged his salamander-looking ass away for statutory rape, so of course he denied being with Kylie like that and said that they’re just really, really good friends.
Tyga asked to go on The Breakfast Club after his ex’s friend, Amber Rose, said on the same show that he needs to leave that little Jenner girl alone. Amber’s comments caused the Kardashian family guard dog, Kujo Kardashian, to bark at her on Twitter and that led to them fighting over who the biggest whore is. Tyga should’ve just left it at, “I am not fucking that Jenner,” but he just had to keep going. Either Tyga is a lie-telling pedotiger or he’s suffering from some kind of brain damage, or both, because who admits out loud that they “respect” Pimp Mama Kris?!
On if he’s doing the baby of the Kartrashian/Jenner family: “I’m not dating Kylie. I just want to get that out the way. I want to be clear to everybody that I didn’t leave my family to be with Kylie. That’s ridiculous. Me and Chyna, we broke up almost close to a year now, because of the decision we made, and things in our relationship that wasn’t going right, we decided to split to raise an emotionally stable kid.”
On how white people (read: PMK, only PMK) don’t think it’s weird that he, a grown 25 year old, is regularly hanging out with a minor he isn’t related to: “In black culture, it’s different. If you hanging around with somebody, you smashing them. In white culture, it’s different. They really are friends. They like really, like ‘This is my friend.’ It’s genuine. It’s different. How we think it’s a little different with our mentality. If I’m friends with her and I’m friends her sister, they ‘hos’ or we ‘smashing’ them. We’re really friends. I respect her mom.”
On how Kylie has good “energy” and comes from a good family: “The thing about her, she’s just a good person. You ever meet somebody and you feel like they’re energy is just good. It’s like not negative. We’re not talking about what’s on MediaTakeout today or what’s negative. She’s just a good person and comes from a good upbringing.”
Toddlers usually have “good energy” until you refuse to give them more animal crackers and they probably don’t talk about what’s on MediaTakeout, because Kylie is too busy going on and on about the puzzle she almost solved in Highlights Magazine while waiting for her lip injection appointment at her pedia plastic surgeon’s office.
While watching this interview, I kept waiting for Chris Hansen and mental health professionals to jump out from under the table and drag Tyga away, because he was not making a good case for himself in the “not doing Kylie Jenner” department and he was not making a good case for the current state of his mental health by saying that Kylie Jenner comes from a good upbringing.
Elsewhere, Amber Rose brought OJ Simpson into her Whore War with Khlozilla, and Wiz Khalifa wants more custody of his child with Amber Rose, because he claims she’s always out at night (um, isn’t that her job?) and lets the family dog lick their kid’s face when it eats its own shit. Um, Wiz isn’t the one to throw judgmental looks at the dog for eating shit, because I’m sure his mouth has touched nastier things.
Here’s Tyga’s NOT-piece Kylie Jenner walking to English class at her school yesterday and what I mean by that is she went to a fashion show in NYC.