I’m not all that familiar with intergalactic wedding customs, but it appears aliens might not have the same appreciation for the post-wedding ceremony tradition that we Earthlings call a “honeymoon”. After getting married to his pregnant human bride Sophie Hunter on Saturday (Earth’s Valentine’s Day), Kif Kroker’s fancy actor cousin Benedict Cumberbatch decided to ditch his honeymoon and make an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! instead.
According to Jimmy Kimmel, it sounds like Eggs Benedict had been scheduled to appear on the show long before he decided to make it legal with his knocked up girlfriend, and sometimes you have to make serious sacrifices if you want that Best Actor Oscar. So he called up Death Valley and told them to cancel the hot rock he had reserved for his post-wedding alien lizard love-fest, and hopped on a flight to Los Angeles. Thankfully, Jimmy Kimmel made sure he wouldn’t feel like he was missing out on anything, so he changed the backdrop into something a little more sexy and brought out some piña coladas. “That’s nice, but can we get back to talking about my performance in The Imitation Game? Academy voting ends at midnight” thought Cumberbatch, as he choked down a mouthful of lukewarm coconut jizz.
Jimmy also suggested that Benedict name his future spawn something that starts with the letter Q, so his name will be Q. Cumberbatch. That’s sweet, but Benedict Cumberbatch is an alien masquerading as a very fancy British person, which means he’ll probably go with something that sounds like a traditional family name, like Hinklebottom, St. Octavius Gingernut, or Fitz-Nigel. Or maybe he’ll honor his otter heritage and name it Emmet.
Here’s Benedict and his new wife Sophie looking like members of the Sleestak royal family as they arrived at LAX yesterday: