Open Post: Hosted By A Bunch Of Otters And Penguins Celebrating Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2015 / Posted by:

And no, this isn’t leaked footage of Benedict Cumberbatch’s wedding reception.

Even though Valentine’s Day is a made-up holiday, it’s still my favorite made-up holiday, thanks to the 3 heart-shaped Cs: chocolate, candy, and cake. I can stuff a metric ton of heart-shaped candy and chocolate and cake into my face hole and nobody says anything, because they assume I’m just really into Valentine’s Day. For example, last night I bought a $25 chocolate cake with a pink icing heart on it and the woman who sold it to me gave me that “OoOoOoh, looks like someone’s having a night!” look, because she probably thought I was going to take that cake home and eat it on a heart-shaped waterbed with a shirtless fireman or some shit. Little did she know I was actually going to eat it on the couch by myself while watching Workaholics in my sweatpants. “No bitch, I knew” probably thought the lady 2 seconds after my broke ass asked if I could pay for the cake using my PC points.

Anyways, what I’m getting at is that I can totally relate to the otters and penguins that live in the Shedd Aquarium who are losing their minds over the Valentine’s Day treats their human friends gave them. All the aquatic love day madness really gets going around the 0:46 mark, and never have I seen an animal so jazzed about heart-shaped ice before. It’s just a pile of pink and purple ice! It looks like when Mimi cranks her Hello Kitty Sno-Cone maker too hard and it explodes. But those otters and penguins are into it, and I’m happy for them. Go nuts  – it’s Valentine’s Day! Eat as much heart-shaped ice as you want!

(via Tastefully Offensive)

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