Miley Cyrus Has Entered A Film In The New York Porn Film Festival

February 10, 2015 / Posted by:

I’m sure your brain went straight to picturing a half-naked Miley Cyrus posing on the VHS cover of something called Horny Hillbilly Slutz, but I’m afraid it’s actually some artsy black and white artsy business that can barely be classified as porn. I know, what a bummer. I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say I was really looking forward to a scene between Miley and the moonshine delivery guy. “Hey y’all, I didn’t order no moonshine – but I will take a swig outta yer jug, if ya know what I mean. Wink! I’m talkin’ bout yer penis! Alright y’all, drop them trousers” [sexy banjo music starts playing].

According to E!, Miley has submitted a short film titled Tongue Tied to the New York City Porn Film Festival. Miley made Tongue Tied last year for her Bangerz tour, and it features everyone’s favorite amateur stripper chipmunk writhing around with her nipple bits covered in electrical tape. Festival founder Simon Leahy describes it as: “It’s a pop take on S&M. She’s starting to become more of a contemporary artist.” He then added “…and it’s great timing, because this was the first year we’ve featured entries from the rodent community. We also received a tasteful masturbation short from that horny lady squirrel from The Sword in the Stone.”

Here’s Miley’s porno, which is only a little NSFW:

It’s like American Horror Story meets attention-seeking art school student who just recently considered legally changing her name to “Blayde” meets Madonna: Truth Or Dare meets a gas station meth dealer’s home-made version of Fifty Shades of Grey. Which is to say, I didn’t hate it?

Here’s the future NYC Porn Film Festival award winner (Best Okay We Get It You’re Not Hannah Montana Anymore) at a Grammy party on Saturday night with her current photo-op contract piece Patrick Schwarzenegger:

Pics: Splash

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