Although in this crystal-clear vision test of a video uploaded by the Academy of Recoding Arts and Sciences, it could also be the Target Lady in grimy Gummo drag. Sadly, it’s not, but it’s the next best thing: Kristen Wiig in grimy Gummo drag flailing around to “Chandelier” at the Grammys last night with professional tiny wigged dancer Maddie Ziegler in what appears to be the living room from any episode of American Pickers, while Sia hung out in the corner with her face to the wall like she was waiting for the Blair Witch. All of which was introduced by a cleaned-up Shia LaBeouf reading an art school stoner-sounding love-letter to Sia written by her husband. And yet, still not as busted as Madonna’s performance.
I know Sia gets a major case of stage jitters every time someone asks her to perform live, and I’m all for her asking famous types to fill in for her, face-wise, but I feel like she really missed an opportunity last night by not swapping out Maddie Ziegler with Bill Hader, thus denying us (aka me) a much-wanted (by me) follow up to the life-giving lip-synching scene from The Skeleton Twins. If you’re going to replace yourself with two people lip synching for their liiiiiives, you should get the best.
Thankfully, Sia was brave enough to make an appearance on the red carpet before the ceremony, but she hid her face with a wig made from Santa’s pubes because she’s super shy, and definitely not because she’s 2015’s version of Lady Gaga and loves the attention. Here she is being escorted up the red carpet by her contractually obligated shadow Maddie Ziegler last night: