The Los Angeles Times says that detectives and traffic investigators will look over Bruce Jenner’s cell phone records to find out whether or not he was texting something like “H8 U BITCH” to Pimp Mama Kris before hitting another car on PCH in Malibu yesterday. As most of you know, the multi-car accident killed the 69-year-old woman in the car that Bruce hit. Bruce passed a sobriety test at the scene and later took a blood test to prove that the sweet nectar wasn’t running through his veins while driving.
Yesterday, there was rumors that the paparazzi were chasing the only tolerable member of the Jenner-Kartrashian klan of fame whores, but officials say that the paps didn’t play a part in the crash. The paparazzi were following Bruce, but he wasn’t trying to outrun them. The sadness all started when a Prius stopped suddenly for whatever reason. The Lexus hit the Prius and Bruce, who was driving a Cadillac Escalade, tried to avoid hitting the Lexus and swerved, hitting the right side of it. That caused the Lexus to shoot off into oncoming traffic where it was hit by a Hummer. The woman driving the Lexus died at the scene. Five other people were injured in the crash.
TMZ doesn’t think that Bruce will be charged with anything and they don’t think he was texting while driving. They posted a series of pictures of Bruce behind the Lexus and the moment he hit it. In the pictures taken before he rear-ended the Lexus, he’s holding a cigarette, not a cell phone. Apparently, deputies believe the Prius is at fault for stopping all of a sudden. (My guess is that the Prius was trying to make a u-turn on PCH which is a total act of crazy.) Radar says that Bruce isn’t taking any chances and is allegedly looking for a criminal lawyer in case he’s charged with manslaughter.
I squinted at the pictures over at TMZ and that cigarette in Bruce’s hand kind of looks like the joint I sucked on last night. I’m sure it was a cigarette, but if it was a joint, the blood test will show that. ….Unless Pimp Mama Kris gets one of her minions to sneak into the lab and switch Bruce’s blood out with the pristine blood of the virgins she sucks on.