And it’s up for you to decide if I meant that in more ways than one.
Leave it to a seasoned attention whore like Madge to show the young wannabe attention whores how to really leave your dignity in the car and cover yourself in sequined ridiculousness for maximum attention. When I turned on E!, the first thing I saw was Madge’s suffocating and pushed-up chichis and her looking like a chorus member of Take A Bow: The Burlesque Show. I guess looking like the dayshift emcee at a matador-themed strip club in Reno didn’t get Matardonna as much attention as she expected, because during the red carpet she lifted up her little skirt and gave us a view of her 56-year-old nalgas and the Spanx belt holding them up. Lourdes, that’s your mom!
I see Matardonna letting the bitches know that they’ll have to scrap their “But how did she wear Depends underneath that little outfit?” jokes.
The best part of Madge terrorizing the red carpet was when Ryan Seacrest interviewed her. I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is what the interview looked like 80% of the time.
Madge kept her back to Ryan Seacrest almost the entire time and talked to the two dudes she was with. Madge knows that it’s not a good idea to look a shifty leprechaun in the eye and he probably didn’t mind, because he’d screech out of his lifts if he looked down and saw the lady nip that may or may not be poking out of Madge’s outfit.
Pics: Wenn.com, Splash, Getty, @LuisVaporub