In case you missed Celebrity Apprentice last night, which you should have to protect your eyes from the image of Jabba the Trump, here’s the boardroom bitch brawl between Vivica Fox and Kenya Moore of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya’s ears must’ve been swollen and throbbing afterward, because Vivica gave her a major verbal slap down. It was almost as beautiful as Joan Rivers’ iconic “POKAH PLAYAH” rant against Annie Duke. Joan Rivers would be so proud of Vivica.
Pretty much every contestant on Celebrity Apprentice can’t stand Kenya Moore. They would rather get oral from a fire-breathing dragon than work with her again. Kenya was moved over to Vivica’s team last week and the Kenya Moore Hate Train got a new conductor! Choo! Choo! Vivica’s hairline has jumped about three inches back from straining so hard while resisting the urge to head butt that toxic trick back to Atlanta. Vivica could no longer hold back last night when Kenya Moore told Donald Trump in the boardroom that she has been acting crazy and it must be from menopause. The men all paused when Kenya spit that out, because those were some fighting words. Kenya told Donald Trump that Vivica said herself in a tweet that she’s got menopause. Vivica denied tweeting that (She has a brand!) and the clip above starts right before she accuses Kenya of stealing her phone and tweeting that mess about menopause to sabotage her. I expected a boxing coach to come out with a water bottle and wet Vivica’s throat while massaging her neck and getting her ready to tongue punch Kenya several times.
Vivica was mad and the NYC Fire Department should throw a citation at Donald Trump, because it’s obvious his smoke detectors weren’t working. If they were, the plastic smoke wafting off of Vivica’s Botoxed mug would’ve set them off. Vivica turned into a quote machine and spit out beautiful lines like “Baby, I’m an international star, you’re a ghetto star” and “I could care less. BOUNCE!” and “That low-down dirty bird right there.” Meanwhile, delusional Geraldo Rivera, who spent a big piece of the episode slobbering over Kenya’s ass, probably sat there thinking to himself that since both women have seen him shirtless, they’re probably trying to get the other one out so they can finally be alone with him and his rideable moustache.
(SPOILER ALERT) In the end, Kenya got fired and denied planting the menopause tweet on Vivica’s phone. I’d like to think that Vivica is a master of takedowns and set Kenya up by pretending to steal her own phone and tweeting that herself. You can’t out-trick a trick, trick!
That GIF did make me feel warm in the chest area. That’s what most of my relatives say to me while leaving a family reunion.
Here’s some riveting pictures from today of everyone who got fired by Donald Trump on last night’s episode.